Anomalus Scribblings

2009-07-27T18:27:00.000+08:00

Frequent problems with posts so I'm giving wordpress a shot

Moved to: http://elusif.wordpress.com/

Diminishing spaces, weekend with hope CG

2009-07-26T23:04:00.002+08:00

Hmm something's wrong with blogger and I can't post pics.

Joined Gerald's CG for a run on sat late afternoon, we started from around Zouk and headed towards Esplanade. Was pretty xiong as I haven't been running in the past month and I was following Ray (who I later found out was a triathlon and his marathon timing is like 3h+). He pang a lot of chance already but it was hard keeping up lol. We stopped at Esplanade till the rest caught up (there was like 8 of us) and took a short break before heading back. Totally lost sight of him on the return route and almost hor lan-ed but fortunately as I was thinking of whether to cross the bridge Wen Jun came along and took me along the right route. Healthy as the care group might sound, we had dinner at MACDONALDS haha. Yes the irony, eat macs after a run lol. A few others came down to join us for dinner and a few of us went to L4D after that. The lan shop was pretty hilarious though, they had a poster on gaming addiction and helplines, at the very bottom was the hotline for IMH haha

2009-07-23T06:56:00.002+08:00

Tuesday: Caught Harry Potter with Esther, ben, Ivan and Tammy. I thought the show was ok and rather funny but everyone else thought it was terrible cause they had read the book and felt it was way different. Guess iy's a good thing I didn't read the book haha.

Wed: Took off from work to go send Peter's team off to Timor. Had intended to camp overnight at the airport since their flight was ~7am (meaning we had to be there like 6) but fortunatedly Vic offered to give me a lift so I didn't have to. Met Dick at the airport, always good to see him haha. After the send off had breakfast with Vic at Tiong Bahru market, spent some time catching up and discussing things of late.

Pick up at WCP was pretty relaxed due to many new faces. However, after the game some guy's bag was stolen. Searched the field and couldn't find it. Lent him my phone and when he called his phone (which had been on), it was off. GG. Reminded me of the time I lost my laptop, of course very different circumstances, but the feeling of losing stuff and not being able to do anything about it is just so sian. After some more searching he called home and the police and we went to Mac to have a drink while waiting. After abt 30-40mins the police came to take his statement. Later his dad came and he sure was pissed. Help his son also kena scolding from him. Fail.

2009-07-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

Thursday: Met with Esther, Ben and Ivan for dinner at Holland V. We had dinner at Katong laksa before heading to Swensens. Lots of catching up and talk of school. When we were at Swensens it was wowtalk and 101 complains of MS wars and DKs lol. Probably meeting again on tuesday to catch a movie.

Sunday: Hung out with some of the people from Ruqi/Gerald's care group today, Hendra is hilarious. Some of them meet for jogs on saturday afternoons and just nice, they are south/central people so I can join them too. Plus Hendra's house is near mine so I can jog over and meet we can jog over to meet the rest.

WWWEEEIIIRRRRDDDDDDDDDD

2009-07-15T21:25:00.004+08:00

Strange day it's been, was in the cab heading to WCP after work and the cab driver was really lol. He asked me if I was going to WCP to beat someone up, if I was he will wait for me so I can escape after that -_- Later on he asked me if i ever sat in the car of people doing stunt driving, and asked me if I wanted him to lol. As we were reaching WCP he asked how was my studies, he told me to study hard and if I knew someone who was a threat to my results just let him know and he will get rid of that person lol. On the way back home after pick up I was looking down from the 2nd deck of the bus and saw a familiar face. Walked down and bumped into Michelle who was probably at Vivo getting some groceries and stuff. Didn't have much time to talk to her though =/ See if I cant meet her and Vic some day.

But weirdest of all was waking up at 2am from a dream.
I read a poem of response, spotted with questions, riddled with blanks...
After that I looked up above it and I saw a statement in Chinese. Could barely make out the first half of the sentence, and I remember clearly my whole "in-dream" thought process of analysing the sentence, staring at the strokes of 2 words I didn't know and guessing it's meaning from the rest of the sentence. Yes, it's been a really, really weird day...

2009-07-14T21:27:00.001+08:00

An sms comes in while on the bus and something else crops up sigh. It hasn't been much trouble really, that's not the point.

But drop the question.

Never mind, it's just me being half tired, half retarded and wholely thinking out too loud and too much.

A little extravagance

2009-07-13T04:46:00.004+08:00

It seems like time is never on anyone's side... Work in a couple of hours and all the way till 1730.

Santa's factory must be a really cool place. It probably has everything you need/want to experiment with/can imagine/have never imagined. But unfortunately I'm at home and I won't be able to go anywhere to get anything without consequences of being too late to mean anything. Working with what I have feels like an attempt to speak a sentence in Chinese using English syllables, or at least it did at first. I can't create something off a wishlist, but I guess I can manage a little "extravagance"...

2009-07-12T10:02:00.003+08:00

Belated birthday to Keith. One of the people I really respect. The amount of time invested into the lives of others and discipling them, /salute. Not to mention still grad with first class honours!

Just the Two of Us: 1550, Office fire trench, Dumb me, For a Brother

2009-07-10T22:06:00.005+08:00

Hit 1550 for 2's with North last night. Nothing spectacular, but when u're using a token reward from Argent tournament while ret pallies smash on u and ur healer with BoH and just 4 weeks of arena, not too bad I guess haha tried to hit 1650 for the night but bounced up and down till we stopped at 1625.

***

More and more closed files piled up on my left and right today slowly surrounding me as I built up my "fire trench". All I needed was to borrow the trolley from Johnny to act as an FOPK and use an umbrella for stand-to. Got scolded by the auntie today for not taking a break lol, told to drop work and head to the pantry and have biscuits and coffee. Welfare ftw!

***

Now that was really, really dumb of me, sigh

***

Beth called at night asking if I was in church cause they were gonna celebrate Keith's birthday. Tomorrow as well. Been thinking of what to do lately but not much ideas. The last 2 nights at St Andrew's New Sanctuary has given me an idea though, it should work out.

For a brother

2009-07-10T07:13:00.002+08:00

First week of work coming to at end, I must say doing filing at the motor claims department makes one think that Singaporeans are (literally) crashing into other everywhere everyday. Tons of files to be closed and sent to the warehouse, I'm flanked by boxes filled with them that I can now barely be seen when I'm at my table. The staff there are nice and there's an auntie always asking us temp staff to drink enough water, asking if we want milo/coffee and passing us sweets/biscuits.

Messages out in hope of hearing that everything's ok. Yet they went out somewhat hesitantly, I hope questions aren't making things worse.

Sick cycle carousel...

2009-07-07T20:59:00.003+08:00

Even more updated: Appeal rejected as well. This is ridiculous.

If it had a home would it be my eyes
Would you believe me if I said I am tired of this
Well here we go one more time

2009-07-07T06:56:00.002+08:00

Updates:
- 7 day MC and stay home instructions over, started work at Maybank yesterday. It's amazing how 8 hours goes by just filing lol.
- Appeal sent to NIE, waiting reply

2009-06-28T22:50:00.002+08:00

A call last night brought disturbing news, someone had been confirmed as a H1N1 case and now I'm stuck at home for a week. Just when I was supposed to start work. As if finding a job this hols wasn't bad enough with the economy and ICT smack in the middle of the hols.

But nothing compares to coming home and finding a letter from NTU, a letter that seals the waiting of many months past, a letter that seals the doom of many months to come. My application to NIE failed...

Just shoot me already

2009-06-26T21:32:00.000+08:00

Things gone wrong: 9999
MK: 0

2009-06-21T20:32:00.004+08:00

Friday: A visit to the dentist and experienced what is known as a lockjaw. Opened a bit too big and a bit too long and after being told to rinse, I could not close my mouth. Talk about scary. The dentist then had to "wrestle" with my lower jaw, pushing it down and back to get it back into it's socket. In the afternoon went down to NYP to help out in Wee Kok's FYP. They were doing some pilot test on a study of some obscure muscle related to the shoulder. Had to learn how to locate and get a feel of the muscle before they did their test. Had to exert and hold for 4 mins while their machine drew some graph. After 2-3 mins I couldn't quite feel the muscle and was relying on them shouting

"No I'm losing it, MORE IN MORE IN"
"C'mon Matthew pull your shoulder down and in down and in"
"YES YES ok maintain maintain"
"Wah this is a beautiful graph"

Hilarous. And an extremely cold room.

***

Finished a few of Tozer's books. One of many gems:

As long as the Church can sing her great hymns she cannot be defeated; for hymns are theology set to music. Hymns do not create truth, nor even reveal it; they celebrate it. They are the response of the trusting heart to a truth revealed or a fact accomplished. God does it and Man sings it. God speaks and a hymn is the musical echo of His voice.

***

Sunday: Went to Hope church with Keith again. I was really glad I did, the whole service, especially worship, was like finding something that's been lost for very long. In line with Father's Day they had a short skit of a father and his son, followed by preaching by first their senior pastor (who doesn't seem senior in age at all haha) then a teacher from the children ministry.

2009-06-17T17:12:00.004+08:00

Monday: Killing spree at Tecman. Went down and was looking at some books and wanted to buy quite a number. But each book was like 25+ and I didn't wanna to spend too much over 50. Tecman card holders get 30% off so I grabbed 3 books and went to ask how much it was to sign up to be a cardholder. Only $3! So the 3 books cost me just slightly over 50 (It was like a buy 2 get 1 free compared to non card holder). All books by A.W. Towzer.

Tuesday: Peter gave some of the ex-NS cell guys a treat at Kuishinbo to celebrate his birthday, but in the end only Kok Sin, Chris and myself could come. Kinda a pity that we didn't really eat much. Oh and its like my 3rd time there in 2 months or so lol!

Wed: Return of the arena with North. Our gear is terribad and he got bursted down quite easily in some games, esp by warriors dropping him somewhat then blowing bladestorm to seal the deal. I should probably consider a more aggresive spec seeing how the games went with north always being the one being focused on. Fun combi though, unsnarable melee putting constant pressure on the healer while a priest stays alive and mana burns when he gets the chance. Fear/cyclone/roots/MC to throw off the dps. Wait for trinket/DS to be blown, get savage roar + rip up and blow berserk burst down and maim the heal ftw. Double dps teams are rocking us cuz we're low on resilience. But one to two weeks more of gear and we should be climbing to more decent ratings! According to pehpeh, Episkey and a feral druid hit 2.4k rating so there's potential for this combi. But if the feral was Nui that makes two exceptional players but its ok North is exceptional and I'll pick my game up as we go!

2009-06-14T15:55:00.003+08:00

Desire

There are a lot of things I desire that are yet to be. Nothing that can be done but pursuing and waiting...

Watched night at the museum 2 at Plaza Sing with my sec 1's, don't understand why people said it was bad, I found it funny though. After that we went to the arcade for a bit and it was bball/racing. Cedric proudly announced how man he was after doing a dramatic crash-in-first-5-secs-of-the-game 4th place comeback to 1st .

Service, shortly after worship I wanted to just walk out, but just stayed in the end. Eunice came over to sit next to me midway through service. The hippers will be another group of people I'll really miss... All the talk of healing and people sharing testimonies, I wanted healing for my knee. The wound has been there since Jan 24th, bursting again every now and then, bleeding and drying again but never going away. Tore it again just on friday and while bathing after swimming the floor was a light orange cause of the blood. How so much blood came from a wound that wasn't very big is beyond me. Anyway I just wanted a miracle, a breakthrough, maybe a reason to stay? Eunice prayed for me, when Pastor Jenn made a call near the end of service I went up and Nathania and Zhongguo prayed for me as well, even went up to one of the Bethel guys and asked him to pray for me. Sadly nothing changed, I came expecting 100% but well life goes on...

Clarence passes me a nike desire wristband, Liane whom I haven't seen in quite a while passes me a bottle and a note, just before leaving the hawker Oli passes me a lollipop heh. Before leaving the sanctuary I had promised her I'll be back to visit now and then, and I'll make good my word...

2009-06-11T20:56:00.002+08:00

9/6 Tuesday: Went for a swim in the late afternoon before meeting Keith for dinner. For him SSM has partly been repairing a broken telephone line where things have been passed down pretty distorted and most things have been clarified, though some things are still not. I guess we both are looking for the same thing, that there can be preaching of the word accompanied by signs and wonders just like the times in the bible. One to the exclusion of the other is worthless.

10/6 Wednesday: Turn up for pick up was incredible lol. We started as 4 a side then quickly became 7, after that it was 7 with 5 waiting at the side, meaning only the first 2 to make it back to the line after scoring would get to stay. In the end we had 2 playing fields. Totally tired and aching after all the sprinting for discs. After reaching home did some static exercises and was thinking about loving and giving and how they are so often intertwined. Thought about the woman is Luke 21 who gave all she had, and the others who gave out of their abundance. Probably more was given to us at the crucifixion than we could ever fully realise or understand. We often mention John 3:16 as how much God loved us, but I felt like God gave His all as well, the curtain was torn in two and we can come before the Father, the Son carried the cross and atoned for our sins and the Holy Spirit is given to us. It wasn't just a commandment by the Father or an act by the Son, God gave everything.

2009-06-08T15:32:00.002+08:00

wed 3/6: caught Terminator Salvation at Cathay with Sean, Daryl and Joel in the afternoon, it was a pretty ok show, not much action and not much of a storyline either heh. Evening it was bball with the old Gessians, Alvin, Teck Seng, John and Felix. Good to be playing again, though it meant I wasn't able to go for pick up.

Good byes are never easy...

2009-06-01T09:25:00.002+08:00

30/05/2009 2359: Adidas sundown. The race started off pretty badly for me. In general I wasn't as prepared as previous marathons and in addition I haven't been as rested lately either. Very early into the race my shoulder started aching badly and by the 9km mark I started walking, as opposed to the 21km mark during last year's stan chart. It was pretty discouraging to start walking 12km earlier, but I know that I can't just give up.

Walk, run, walk, run

Finally hit the 21km mark and was heading out of East Coast Park. My shoulder stopped aching somewhere along the way thankfully, but my legs were pretty exhausted as well. Suddenly I was greeted by a very strange sight, we had to cross an overhead bridge. It turned out it wasn't the only one either. We had to cross a total of about four overhead bridges as part of the "Heartland Twist" and "Waterfront Trail" (http://www.sundownmarathon.com/uploads/images/Sundown_Raceroute2.jpg). The 20-30km portion passed pretty quickly.

4a.m.

Two hours to finish before 6. I knew it was impossible to finish faster than last year or to do it under 5h30min but under 6h was still possible if I pushed it. The 30-42km portion felt like the most intense portion of the run, was pushing at abt 7.5-8 min per km. 10 mins after passing the 40km mark I still hadn't seen the 41 km sign. Did my pace drop so drastically so suddenly or did I miss the sign? The end can't be that far since I was already pass the bus terminal. Then someone shouts

300m more! Just up ahead!

One last push and I cross the finish line, it took about 5h42min. Collect my medal, finisher shirt, refreshments and head over to the baggage area. Pick up my bag and head over to where everyone was resting. Took off my shoes, leaned against the railing and relaxed. Back before 6am.

Raced the sunrise...

***

After breakfast and some sleep I headed over to Bukit Merah Central to meet the rest of the secondary one leaders for lunch before we headed to Rachel's place for our cluster gathering. After we had a great time playing Guesstures and Catchphrase, Vic announced to everyone that I would be leaving. When given a few minutes to share it was pretty hard, some of us go way back to when we first joined the p6 segment, some were rather new and I didn't really know them, it was really difficult to say what I'll miss and what I enjoyed during the times yet trying to include everyone.

When everyone took turns to share and affirm me it got pretty heart wrenching. Especially when it came to Vic and Alina, the two people I'm closer to. Vic started all the way back to the time I was in sec1, which is like 10 years ago. He was the one who roped me into serving after NS and post ORD we shared a lot together, HIP and eventually he took over the p6 cluster from Pastor John. He shared about the gifts he received from me and the one we gave him on his birthday this year and how he was surprised when I delivered it right to his doorstep that sunday morning. Alina knew my sister from way back, and was in the same cell as my brother for a period as well. But we never never each other late 07, then it was Timor, leader's advance and starting out in the p6 segment together. Just before NUS started we spent 9 weeks in HIP; all the early mornings, sessions, sharing, planning and running the secondary segment camp. She also helped me get a place in Eusoff as well, the day I moved in asked me if I was free for touch rug. She started to cry as she shared how she'll miss having me around, and Olivia started to cry as well. Sigh, I wish I didn't have to leave, yet I know it's time for me to move on...

Good byes are never easy...

The generations need each other

2009-05-26T23:15:00.002+08:00

Earlier this afternoon I heard terrible news, which for now I shall not mention. The things happening right in our midst and we are oh-so-unaware. Worse still is the fact that to many it doesn't raise a concern.

Sigh...

Even worse for him, having it involve his own family and his sister whom he loves. It must really tear him apart...

Later into the evening I took some time to sit down with my parents and discuss stuff of late. Heard more of their own journeys that led up to they decision, heard more of the terrible things we are oblivious to.

To contest over certain things would require a ton of reading to be fair to the other party, which honestly after all the "fruits" I've seen I can't bring myself to do. So much of it if spoken out will just be covered up and end up a "your words versus mine" kind of argument. Which would also just result in me ending up like all those who are not with him, ridiculed, mocked and made a joke of over the pulpit. It has sickened me long enough.

The generations need each other

What wisdom, what guidance, how much knowledge can be passed on from one generation to another, how much more would we have learnt. So much is not new, so much the world has already seen, but not us...

Turn and repent

2009-05-24T23:18:00.004+08:00

Saturday was a really long day, went to St Andrew's with my family for some talk by Prof Alister McGrathon the "New Atheism". Was more of a response to points brought up by books that have become popular in recent years such as "The God Delusion". He gave a very fair discussion of the arguments of both sides, even putting down points Christians would rather be promoted.

After service had dinner with Ivan at around sixth avenue and discussed about some major stuff. After we were done with dinner the discussion carried on over at rail mall wayy into the morning, by the time we were done it was like 3+am. So much has been going on and most are simply unaware. After everything I decided to do something I learnt from my parents. Check up on the people, sometimes you find out how much shit is swept under the carpet.

Testimonies from people:

"Thanks so much for your efforts on this web site, I appreciate it more than you know!
I am in absolute agreement with you regarding the entire Lakeland/TB debacle. Simply put, it is demonic. I was into the new-age practices in the late 60’s-early 70’s, even though I believed scripture…I was not born again. I wrote my testimony after seeing Lakeland and put it on http://www.sapphirethrone.com .(my life was very affected by kundalini experiences) I wrote the following because I just found some information that shows how TB’s “opening of portals” that was announced during his “commission” is not in any way original or unique to him, it is a practice that has been used by high level occult practitioners.

Since Rick Joyner and Bill Johnson are both caught up in the realm of deceiving spirits, they can only reinforce TB’s behavior.TB’s declaration of “opening up the stargate portals to the third heaven” has absolutely nothing to do with God or His heavenly realms…it is based on previous declarations by high level occultist. His “angel” connections are not God’s angels, they are familiar spirits and demonic forces. What he does and declares is UTTERLY SATANIC…not “just a little eccentric.” The opening up of these “portals” that TB is engaged in is activated by his own soul power/soul energy called kundalini in Hinduism. There is a lot on the web about it as it is practiced by those in the occult/new age. This web site covers it quite well: newchristian.org.uk/kundalini.html It gives a list of some the symptoms.

Another good article that sheds some real light on TB’s “anointing” is by Mishel at deceptionbytes.com; Todd Bentley, The Fires of Kundalini, and the Demon Samael. Quite an eye opener.
My own experiences with this in the past was released through meditation, and opened up doors to the fallen spirit realm. As believers, we are meant to meditate on the Word of God, on His attributes, but are never supposed to leave our mind “blank” and receptive as Bill Johnson teaches in his “supernatural training.” He and his wife are fascinated by the “mystical” and “mystical experiences.” In his book, “When Heaven Invades Earth,” he has artfully twisted the definition of what an “anointing” is, the character and nature of the Holy Spirit, and the very attitude we are to have before a Holy God. His page titled “My Story-Glorious But Not Pleasant,” is a TEXTBOOK RENDITION of the kundalini awakening, replete with “unexplainable power began to pulsate through my body, seemingly just shy of electrocution.” He goes on to explain how it was like a thousand volts of electricity flowing through his body; his arms and legs shot out in silent explosions as if something was released through his hands and feet, and the more he tried to stop it, the worse it got. He declared that it was the most overwhelming experience of his life…”it was raw power…it was God.” (So sorry to say, Bill, it was not the God of the Bible, the Alpha and Omega.) None of this surprises me, as he states that “our hunger for Him in part must be seen in our lustful pursuit of spiritual gifts. That is His command!” I know exactly what my Bible says about spiritual gifts, but Bill sure can twist what is really said. This book is a sad commentary on why the church is in the state it is, as it promotes the attitude of a demanding, petulant child throwing a fit if it doesn’t get its “experience.”

I am afraid there are enough immature believers reading this nonsense that are ensnared in his humanistic sophistry, and they may very well be sincere about seeking the heart of God. But one of the NAR points of indoctrination is cleverly inserted in his page on Pursue an Encounter. He declares that if God is moving somewhere else other than where he lives, he must go! If someone else is being used by God more than him, he must humbly ask for prayer with the laying on of hands. “Some may ask, “Why can’t God touch me were I am?” “He can. But He usually moves in ways that emphasize our need for others, rather than adding to our independence. Wise men have always been willing to travel.”
When we add that bit of NAR indoctrination to the TB “highly contagious anointing,” we have quite a package of deception being spread through the church. We have controlling, manipulative “leaders” that are void of discernment, and are entrenched with false teaching promoting “angels” which are nothing more than familiar spirits… they teach occult, mystical techniques to the unaware who are opening themselves up to the realm of the occult, believing they are being “led by the Holy Spirit.” I have found that most of the people who are alarmed by this deception are believers who acknowledge the gifts of the spirit, and are used by God to bless others through various gifts. Those that discern love the Word, listen to the lead of the Spirit, pursue God HIS way…through humility, repentence, prayer and fasting, and a contrite heart; the elements of true revival.
Gal 2:20 I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me"

"You want facts about the dangers involved in the NAR movement? Let me give you one from my own experience. A young woman that I know has been a fan of Bill Johnson and co and, having been brought up in the charasmatic movement, has always been hungry to experience the supernatural. As the prophetic and apostolic “ministries” of the NAR-oriented churches has spread into even the churches in my remote part of the world, it has resulted in fleshly utterings, supposedly in the name of God.

This young woman received a “word from the Lord”, specifically telling her that she would be in another country in December, 2008, enjoying studies at a prestigous Christian college, one that she desperately wanted to attend. You can imagine her joy at receiving this information directly from God, a loving promise from a kind Father who gave her exactly what she wanted.

Guess what? She’s still here in this remote part of the world, devastated that she is not where God told her she’d be. Before people criticise her gullibility, she was set up by a false system that encourages people to speak on behalf of God, as though speaking out in itself is a way of glorifying God, even if you get it wrong, because you are practicing to become a “better” prohet or apostle.

Some of her family still hangs on every word that Bill Johnson utters but that must hurt her, knowing that his ilk have been responsible for allowing what happened to her in the first place.

Bill Johnson. If you are a true leader of men, start reigning in your false teachers and repent of your waywardness. I know that it would take a big man to do that and I think that you’re locked into the machine now but please, prove me wrong, and lead your followers back to a biblically based, expensive grace, daily-dying-to-self type of sacrificial Christian living, characterised by Christ-likeness, holiness and Christian character. Have nothing to do with false signs and wonders and false prohecies. Please."

Quotations from places:

"No longer is holiness and devouring the Word the primary means of developing a prophetic character. No, you just guess whatever pops into your head after tuning yourself into “the” prophetic. This is no different than the New Age approach to the Force, or Stream of Consciousness. It ultimately sidesteps true propheticness and creates prophecy slot machines."

"Playing guessing games with the souls and minds of men and women should be a frightening and sobering proposition for us and is serious business to God. This makes me think back to Jeremiah 23:16 where the Lord said that these kinds of prophets “speak visions from their own minds and not from the mouth of the Lord.” In other words, they just guess or shoot out whatever they think is fitting or “might be” from God."

"It’s an unsure thing to guess. To guess presupposes doubt. Just because guessing sometimes proves right doesn’t give us any luxury to indulge in it when prophesying to an open heart. Doubt is all the more incentive to keep silent until God makes something sure. Oswald Chambers says, “When in doubt, don’t!” I agree, and so does Paul the apostle. That’s why he said what he said in Romans 14:23."

"Romans 12:6 in my NIV reads, “We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith.” I looked at 4 different translations and they all say the same thing, in essence. The basic idea of this particular verse is that the one prophesying should not go any further than the boundry of his faith, i.e. if it hasn’t been made sure in his inner man that he is to issue a word, then he is to go no further than the faith that is given."

"When you begin to open your mouth and speak things in a prophetic fashion, yet you are not absolutely convinced of its origins as proceeding from God, you numb your discernement so that the next time its easier to say what is not of God, then its easier after that and so on, and so on until you finally cannot distinguish the difference between your soulish nature and God."

I could go on forever, it's been hours and in a short while the sun will be rising again. Not tired in the slightest, inside me just burns, burns, burns...

How did I actually stay on a year through this? Thank God for His grace that I did not yield...

Should have done this ages ago. People are just blindly going with the flow oblivious to what has been happening. Does anyone have any idea what happened to the adults? How many left? How all but one of the entire equipping team, that trained people in the Word of God, (ACE and all) left? Last night Ivan said surely people had made noise about it, surely someone spoke up if things were going out of line. I know many did, but as i thought about it, what happened to the youth? Some said they felt uncomfortable with it as it started and all, but how many of us prayed, searched, meditated? I mean us leaders. What was the lamp unto our feet and the light unto our path?

Oh Lord, forgive me for being too polite for too long, it's high time to flee from this place and for the sake of those I love, I shall not go quietly...

Good news or bad news? News.

2009-05-21T23:32:00.004+08:00

Caught up with Alina over lunch yesterday at PS. More questions, more sharing, more discussing; some things are just hard to explain, some things people will never understand.

And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

It's hard for others to understand when it's not typical. Maybe things aren't that bad, maybe things are worse than bad. But it surely is a perpetual discontentment, things can't change cause it's simply just out of my hands. For what it's worth I tried, I it gave a shot for months, but at best it was a slap in the face. Things can't change when this is what they want. Not even time helps; it neither heals nor softens nor washes away, its just numbs.

Give me something to remember...

Cause when I look back I don't see anything. It's not like they were merely not there. That would have been better. For most part they were the ones I had to fight against. Maybe if I was the eldest things would have been different. No mould to fit into, no comparisons and unsaid expectations, maybe I would have had the freedom to be who I am. But that's probably just wishful thinking, we're worlds apart...

When this is all over, I'm not sure I can bring myself to care...

***

Had dinner with Cheryl before she went for band practice today. Heard pretty unexpected things...

Will we all end up leaving?

Didn't know it was on the minds of others as well. Oldies who grew up here too. This place has changed so much, and part of me feels like this is just an empty place now. Will we all just go separate ways?

Good news or bad news? New-s

Can't really say if it's good or bad. But in time to come I guess it will be new-s. New chapters, new places, new paths for many of us...

Let not these days just fly by...

2009-05-19T19:32:00.006+08:00

Had lunch with rach yesterday and we went to Kuishin Bo (why there is a story in itself). Unfortunately I was off-form yesterday and didn't really eat that much, which might have be a good thing actually, otherwise our combined powers might have given fishermen great stress as they try to maintain the E = { BN - s(N)2 }- equation to prevent the overharvesting and hence extinction of the salmon species(!). Seems she liked the place and food, though perhaps it was a little overkill heh. Eating a little too much and realising a little too late = bad. Had no idea how to make her feel better, it is a terribad helpless feeling. Fortunately she was fine in the end!

Met Ivan and Pastor Charissa today to discuss details of the segment gathering. As we talked things started to shape up a little more and tied down what we needed to brainstorm for. A good start I guess, but it's still pretty early at this stage.

In other news, Miah said SMC is full, gotta find a job elsewhere =/

When two or three gather in my name...

2009-05-17T11:16:00.005+08:00

Cell yesterday was pretty amazing. As is typical of my cell, we were extremely loud and rowdy during icebreakers, only this time Alina had to come over from next door cause we were overpowering-ly loud lol. But the time we started worship it was already like 5 (usually we try to end by 530). This time it was rather different. Usually I can only hear myself and Jamie heh. But not this time. I was thinking of whether I should close worship when Jamie told me to continue playing as she wanted to pray for the kids. She prayed for Celine first then when she went to pray for Cedric, Celine went to pray for Joscelyn. Then Joscelyn prayed for Celine. Then they prayed for Melissa. Then Joscelyn, Celine and Josh prayed for Cedric, later they prayed for Josh. In the end worship and prayer covered an hour and it was 6 by the time we were done. I see great potential in them, someday they'll be a big part of the lives of the people around them...

Small people, big heart, big God.

Seek first

2009-05-13T23:54:00.003+08:00

After having the cheque from the "Safety Starts With Me" competition lying around for a couple of weeks, I finally got down to banking it in today. Headed down to Art Friend afterthat to take a look at stuff. It was pretty late into the afternoon already, I was hungry and also looking for a nice place to prepare for cell this week. At first I went to the Macs just next to Bras Basah Complex, I like the second storey there. Unfortunately it was full, so I made my way to Raffles Place and grabbed a bite at the food court there instead. Starbucks and all were packed, don't people work?? I mean, it is in the middle of the afternoon, what are people doing out of the office lol. In the end I settled down at TCC at Funan. Ordered a drink then fished out my bible, paper and writing materials.

Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you."

This the verse we'll be teaching at cell for the secondary ones this week.

Always better to look at the whole passage then just the verse in isolation. The verses leading to 33 can be summed up in saying

Do not be anxious about anything, for we have a God that provides.

From verse 32 we see that He knows our needs. From verses 25-30 we read of how He provides for the birds of the air and lilies of the field and are you not of more value than they? In verse 27 the classic question of and which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? The verse from Philippians comes to mind, Philippians 4:6 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication let your requests be known to God"

Seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness.

As a student, I can't but think of cell and service vs stay home and study when I think of this verse. I guess it's a very real thing, we see it sometimes in our own lives and also in those around us. During the exams visibly less people are around for cell and service. (Surprisingly last week even after all the exams there was still much fewer people around, to that Isaac joked that it's studying before and during, partying after) To say to seek first by coming for cell and service over studying might be very applicable to the sec 1's since they're all students, but that kinda limits and downplays it, I feel. It is probably one example, but to find something more encompassing, it would be

Making/keeping God as our priority.

If we know that God knows our needs and believe that He provides, should our lives suddenly revolve around exams/insert-relevant-alternative? Do we suddenly have more faith in a few hours of studying that our God who provides?

I recall a time years back when I learnt about this verse in cell, then learnt it in greater measure in the months to follow.

Second year of JC and the A level was to be the finale of my 2 years in PJ. Most people probably thought it wasn't a big deal to me and that I was always doing well. But for a pretty long time, it was a very worrying thought. I had been failing chem since I started JC and at that point of time I was still in the midst of trainings and competitions. I remember the long, late night journeys home and wondering if I would make it to university, even if I had 2A's if I failed my third subject I wasn't going anywhere. Plus PJ's chem papers are not the super-hard-not-set-to-let-you-pass kind. I remember feeling so helpless against the mountain of stuff I didn't know and the little time I had to get it right. Math Chem Phy for J1 mid year was EDC, end year was CDB. Long way to go. After A div basketball ended, I spent most of my time after school catching up on chem and starting all the way at the first chapter of year one work. Mid year J2: BOB. Nightmare seriously. More long days and nights in school catching up on chem. Then at cell Lishan taught from Matthew 6:25-34. I guess it really impacted me and the months later were very different. I was still spending long hours in school but the worry was slowing dying. It was then I learnt that

There is a stark difference between concern and worry.

Doing well, getting into uni and all, they now a concern to me, but no longer gripping as worry was. Much more studying later, prelims came. ADB. Failing at prelims should have made me really worried, but this time I wasn't. God gave me a lot of peace to ride through this storm. There was quite some time before the actual A's, but it didn't end up in super hardcore mugging. There were some changes in cell and now we had 2 guitarists, so we met up on wednesday nights to practice. Instead of just service on saturday it was now Timor team meeting->guitar lessons with Vic->service. Effectively my saturday was gone. It seemed that as the A's drew nearer I was actually spending less time studying. But it didn't worry me. In the end, ABB and I didn't even touch a large portion of the essay questions which carried much of the marks. God saw me through...

I think of examples in the Bible I can use to bring out the verse in a stronger way. Surely that must be countless mentions of people trusting God to provide in the face of the impossible.

At first I thought of Jesus feeding the five thousand, but it didn't really suit this. Then I remember Abraham and Isaac, and start flipping to Genesis. Genesis 22, The Sacrifice of Isaac. When Isaac asked where the lamb was, Abraham told him that God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son. Abraham had great reason to be worrying, in the chapter before this God had promised Abraham that through Isaac shall your offspring be named. But instead Abraham chose to show faith. God provided a lamb in the end and Isaac lived. Hebrews 11:17-19 also speaks of this event and the faith he showed.

The mountains of Moriah, the place where Abraham showed faith, and God provided and a sacrifice made.
The mountains of Moriah, salvation obtained through faith, where for sacrifice God provided Jesus, the lamb that was slain.

On the same mountains Jesus was sacrificed for our sins. If God has provided for our eternity, what more for the temporary? If we have faith in God that He provides, what we should we be doing instead? Going back to Matthew 6, at the very start of the passage, v25; is not life more than food and the body more than clothing? We have our eyes set on the wrong places, the wrong things. The lyrics ring in my head...

This is my story
This is my song
Praising my Saviour, all the day long.

I guess that if we have the faith that God provides, we stop worrying about things; He becomes our priority, our focus, His glory our life purpose...

I put down my pen and reach for my cup; I'm more or less done writing, just need to refine and organise everything again before cell. A sudden realisation hits and I can't help but smile, the title of that hymn is...

...Blessed Assurance

Cell prepares for Mother's Day

2009-05-10T00:19:00.010+08:00

It was a bad start to the day, honestly. Slept at 5am, got out around 8-9 and grabbed breakfast at Fong Seng before commencing my first trip home. Shoved as much as I could into my good ol' Spartan fieldpack as well as 2 big plastic bags to make sure I would only need one more trip after this one. I had to make two trips and had cell so I figured I would cab the trips home then take a bus to get back to hall. As I was travelling I was still wondering what to do for cell today, I had totally not prepared for word, sigh. Chiong to and fro and after I got home from the final trip, an sms came in from Alina; Bio was getting his cell to do something for their mother and suggested we all did the same. This is like the perfect thing to do, although I was pretty disappointed that I hadn't prepared anything earlier, but this would so definitely be better than anything I would have prepared instead.

Brought a couple of extra sets of colour pencils that Pastor Vic gave me from Treasure Hunt for Alina to pass to the rest. But for my own cell of course, SPECIAL PRIVILEGES. Took my box of materials and fished out some other stuff from my other boxes and threw them in as well. Oh yes, newspaper as well of course.

On the way down to church, carrying the box was a nightmare. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the weather was exceptionally hot or whatever the reason it seemed extra heavy. Tired, hot and sweating; church never seemed further from the bus stop. Quickly made my way to draw the keys for the urban room to return the throw rugs I brought back to hall to wash 120914019750198 weeks ago. Bumped into pastor Charissa who seemed pretty shocked at my flustered and sweaty state lol. After that went up to room 3 at 40A dumped all my stuff and headed down to NTUC. I needed to get something extra, alphabet pasta. It would come in really handy with the glow-in-the-dark paint.

For cell today only Matthew, Cedric, Melissa and Celine were around. Took out some of the materials for them to start with, coloured paper, colour pencils, pens etc... Then took out my remaining sea shells, the more "interesting" stuff to excite them and let them try more than just colouring paper. At first they just stuck to the shells and paper, then Matthew rummaged through the box. He was pretty startled then started naming the different materials he saw, glass beads, wooden hearts, etc. Soon everyone was shouting and fighting over who got what, heh.

Matthew started with a small rectangle card the size of your typical name cards, then he pasted 4 glass beads on the corners. When he found the glow-in-the-dark paint he asked me how to use it cause he wanted to make the borders glow. I suggested cutting paper and spraying them then gluing back on to his card so he wouldn't accidentally spray on to the other parts of the card. He said he wanted to try spraying the whole thing and so he did. At first it made me frown, now his whole card was covered and the "Happy Mother's Day" he wrote couldn't be seen. Then he did something really cool. He went over the words with the gold marker again. As the paint was still wet, when he went over the words he removed the paint . End result? The words were in gold and surrounded by a thin layer of yellowish-green glow in the dark paint that looked like frosted glass against it's black background. When you turned off the lights, the whole card would be glowing and you could still see the words "Happy Mother's Day" since it was the only portion not glowing. Unfortunatedly he kept running between the table and the corner for spraying so I couldn't get a proper picture of it =/

Cedric wanted to stick shells into a heart and complained the paper was too flimsy. No fear, we got mounting board ;) Helped him super glue the shells to the mounting board while he looked for other materials. He wanted to put a wooden heart in the centre of the heart formed by the shells and he wanted it to be red. I only brought my glow-in-the-dark paint though, didn't bring the rest of my spray paints. But we had red paper so we just stuck it on the heart to make it red. He continued searching and then exclaimed I WANT TO USE THIS! He held the packet of alphabet pasta high in the sky in victorious fashion, like a member of the Malaysian Special Branch holding Mas Selamat. At this point of time Melissa was waiting for her wooden heart to dry and so Cedric roped her in to help him find the alphabets to form "Happy Mother's Day". While helping him spray the letters he decided to add a yellow box at the bottom right hand corner and wrote "Just for you <3 Cedric". So sweet right?

Celine's card was simpler than the rest but still very nice. At first she was quite sad that the words she had written were off center. But it turned out to be a good thing because it created a nice spot for her to paste her red hearts. Then she drew in a flower and coloured it purple =)

Through it all Melissa was just working rather quietly on her card (or perhaps I was too caught up with Matthew and Cedric's screams for this and that). But when I saw it, wow! I think it was really cool, and she used like a whole range of materials; glass beads, ice cream sticks, tiles, necklace beads. She even drew on the tiles. But unfortuatedly, I didn't notice she drew on them until I was looking at the photo on my laptop. The problem is the ink looks solid and dried, but it itsn't. It can't stick on the surface of the tile and will get wiped away. It would have needed to be covered with a layer of scotch tape or varnish to prevent it from being wiped away. What she drew on the top right tile was pretty intricate too, pity =/. Oh and the small heart on the right of the text was painted with glow-in-the-dark. So after her mum reads the card if she turns off the light there'll be a nice little gowing heart =).

So proud of what all of them did!

At service Pastor Jennifer was talking about Mother's Day and how her mum has pretty much everything so this year she has decided she will make a card for her mother and that craft work is a real challange for her. Later I thought to myself hmm she said will make, meaning she hasn't done it yet. So I decided after service I'll pass her my materials so she could use anything she found handy.

Materials are like vocabulary, the more you have the more you can express...

Sometimes materials are even what spark off ideas when you think of what you can do with what you have. She was happy that I offered my materials and said she was thinking that she would have to go and buy stuff and wasn't sure what to get either. Well hopefully what I have comes in handy and maybe she'll get some ideas while exploring what's in the box!

But before coming to church it was really quite a struggle. I was tired and after gathering all I wanted into the box it was pretty heavy. Part of me wondered if I was thinking too much, what if they just took the paper and colour pencils and did a "shui bian 5 min card"? (we did cards for each other for an icebreaker once and it didn't go down too well) Wondered if it was worth bringing so much stuff. In the end I had to tell myself

No, I believe in them, it'll be worth it, they are worth it....

As things played out today I'm really glad I brought everything. I'm sure they had a great time and I'm really proud of what they did. I'm sure their mums will be very blessed as well! And if Pastor Jenn finds the materials handy it will be an additional bonus =)

1 A.M.

2009-05-09T00:58:00.003+08:00

Up and blogging cause I can't sleep. Went to bed slightly pass 11, toss and turn and all but sleep eludes me. Mentally it's like a stand-to with hints of a dawn attack; pretty sure if someone dropped a pin, even if it was outside my room, I would have heard it.

The room I live in, the room I'll soon only have lived in.
My own corner, my own little space, and sometimes a little meeting place...

I should be sleeping easily, pretty much the whole day was spent making two trips between hall and home to bring my stuff back and it was pretty draining, all the travelling. My guitar, box of art materials, clothes, files, sometimes I wonder how I managed to have so much stuff in my room in the first place. Unloading them at home was worse, today isn't the first time I brought stuff back, so I already have stuff lying around taking up space. I dump some stuff on my table, which is kinda flooded by now (and I have yet to set up my monitor, I'll also need space for my laptop to sit WITHOUT blocking it, and I don't have the luxury of a big table like in hall) then squeeze the rest into my room (read: me, my bro, double decker bed, cupboards for clothes) without taking up too much space. Wonder how I'm going to unpack and arrange everything.

My room, physically; empty with little things remaining, a seeming abandonment compared to what it was.
My room, the memories tied to it; will they end up in the same fate?

Bball training, friendlies; getting fried at SRC one day, played by the rain the next during the hols; blue oyster movies, blue oyster suppers; opening IHG with an intense point-for-point fight for 4 quarters, push into OT only to have the match slip out of our hands, continuing fighting harder every match and come back to clinch the title...

Vball training, setting up the net with Chris/Nic and some of the other usuals, finding newspaper to absorb the "chup" after putting the pole in, trying to push the pole all the way in against a tensioned net; serving and getting everything over, serving and getting everything into the net, serving and end up doing 100+ pushups cause we served too many into the net haha...

Running in NUS, the track for track and field with Tony, Ryan and the rest, the track for intervals for road relay; the slope at PGP for hill runs for road relay, route around NUS for road relay; actual road relay: relac as road marshaller with Shan Chin lol...

Sets, from having nothing to do in the first sem, to too much to do the next; from our first tools tutorial and smelling the stench of burnt metal to building our giganormous flower and UCM; saw/screw/drill/attach/tear apart/paint while chatting/laughing and muttons to midnight in the background; boosters at night: bubble tea; working into the wee hours to move everything to UCC, fighting a storm that went away once we had our "defence" set up, working into the wee hours to move the sets back after the curtain falls and everyone else just walks away...

B Block, IBG, camo-ed ninjas for talent crime, casual bball games, one and only block supper cause I was at IHG training every other supper heh...

ECF, first meeting of the first sem = first bball IVP training with Yong Meng, never knew when they met after that; Ian said he would let me know if they were meeting, IHG stuff + NUS cell + leaders cell + p6 cell + chiong to get a good first CAP = busyy, didn't hear about meetings again and didn't find out either; second sem coming to a close and I turn up for the first time after rach mentions it, Matthew (Wan) mentions it, Ting Yu mentions it, 3 meetings or so in the end, maybe I should have joined from the start and, like my dad said, hear what people from other churches have to share...

You coming over, lunch and chrysanthemum tea, work/notes on the table and supposedly study, ownT by youtube, Isaac Slade, Jason Mraz and the millions of girls who say he will marry them soon, extended desktop across monitors as the pointer makes it way around the whole room; casper who doesn't say boo, exercise-to-increase-my-appetite Mr Winnie the pooh; come and crash, wake and go...

Tell me they won't...

0245 and I'm even more awake then when I started writing. Not good. Have to finish all my moving back home tomorrow and I'll probably be really drained after. There's also cell and service, which I hate feeling drained at, especially when I have to lead cell. But I'm glad I wrote all this, I guess blogging and being in engin has made me realize how much I miss writing...

Words, words, words...

2009-05-07T01:14:00.008+08:00

After wondering what to do being so free yesterday, today I had a lot to do. Went to sleep last night intending to wake at 6 and set off early to ECP but unfortunately it was raining very heavily so I waited till later before moving out. The weather cleared pretty fast and I was out and on the way to ECP.

Travel travel travel...

Back to a very familiar place, but this time with a very different reason. This time it's not for a marathon, nor training for any other run. Made my way down to mac first as the sky still looked rather gloomy and there was still a slight drizzle. After breakfast walked along the coast of ECP and the tide looked pretty high, I forgot everything about tides and was wondering if they change like every 12 hours OH NO. Anyhow, found a bench, sat down and did some bible reading first.

A cool breeze and the gentle sound of waves meeting the shore...

After I was done the tide seemed to have lowered some and taking a look around, there seemed to be more shore further up. Took a walk and along the way stared at the ground, surprisingly there were a number of shells even beyond the safety barrier and like near the grass area. But really scattered, too few to consider picking up. Further up, much more sand but no sight of shells yet.

Take a look at my phone, it's already close to 10am.

Just a little further I saw what looked like a trail of shells (and sticks, leaves, tissue and styrofoam sigh). Pull out my ziploc and began my search. Mostly fragmented bits but soon I find some nicer ones.

Piece by piece, into the bag they go....

Occasionally I find a really unique looking one that seems to have the word epic written all over it heh. They would make good corners =) I always thought shells were like white, brown, orange... but much to my surprise a lot of them had a purple hue and looked really interesting. Tried to collect ones which have the same or at least close shades of colour. In the end they were mostly white, white with a purple hue or white with a tinge of orange.

The bag starts to feel heavy... Today this is my resource, unpredictable, irregular and I have no idea if they'll fit together, or if I even have collected enough...

Walking on, the trail slowly dies off and I check the time again. 11am. I think I have enough shells to work with, I'm done here, time to get everything else I need.

More travelling, and back to another very familiar place, Bras Basah

Got most of my stuff from Popular this time instead of Art Friend. They didn't quite have what I wanted, unfortunatedly. Had a quick lunch before heading back to hall.

Travelling is a really tiring activity.

Reach back at 2ish and crashed out till close to 5. Quickly went to wash the shells and then dry them and lay them out before going for ulti. Went down to the field at WCP and there were a lot of people there today, many new faces and a bunch of guys from SP. Man they can run...

2 weeks of exams and my forehand is gone case again

Jialat sia. And I grazed my knees again, left knee this time...
Ting Yu came later but had to make a move before playing cause something happened.

Ban Mian and bubble tea for dinner again

After dinner it was time to get down to work. My second time working with super glue and unfortunately it leaves one with hard fingertips heh. Play around with the different shells, note the colours and form a general scheme. Slowly put it together piece by piece while having long msn convos with Ting Yu and Ivan, and John Mayer playing his heart out in the background. Man his live vids are amazingg, whether he's singing or playing solo's he really does it as an art, and with the finest expressions even when no words are mentioned (lotsa HQ vids from his LA show are on youtube). But enough of John Mayer, as mentioned earlier he was in the background anyway. Some portions were really hard to cover, but now after it's all done, seems rather amazing how everything managed to fit into place. Irregularly shaped, yet seemingly natural grooves for each other...

Perhaps, this will cheer you up

2009-05-05T21:29:00.003+08:00

What should one do after the exams hmmm... I have no idea. Changed blog header to a lovely photo that I think was taken by Joline during our trip to Timor in 07. Intervals this morning was terribad. Was aiming for <90s each round, but third round onwards all overshot. Gonna hit the gym later tonight...

Did a bit of drawing today and gave a shot at trying to draw a lotus. Starting to try out shading as well. Got down to working on mother's day gift but barely got anything done as I realised I lost my (good) scissors long ago and I brought home the box with my UHU glue -_-. Tomorrow I guess...

MSN now and miah tells me I'll probably be doing filing at SMC cause they're changing all the files to new files and the last count is around like 14000 files LOL

EXAMS ARE OVERRRRRRR

2009-05-04T23:12:00.002+08:00

Finally done with exams. Played ball with the usual gang of mostly B blockers, aching quite a bit even though it was like slight over an hour only. Need to get well really fast. 26 days to sundown!

Let's see what's coming up...

-Miah called today saying SMC will mostly likely hire me again and if so I'll be starting on monday. Short week to enjoy before work starts!
-Frisbee @ West Coast on wednesday again! But once I start working I won't be able to make it and I won't have an outlet for ulti anymore sigh...
-Finish up Mother's Day gift. Plan looks good but execution is gonna be a little tricky.
-Progressively train towards sundown and progressively step down training as well in just 26 days, hmm.....

Ok time to knock out, intervals tomorrow morning, kick myself out of bed at 6 after sooo long...

2009-04-30T23:29:00.003+08:00

Happened to stumble upon another amazing song by lifehouse today. Can't believe I never came across it in the past. Unfortunately in conversion some quality was lost, Blogger needs to support flv man. Anyway here it is, lifehouse's Come Back Down, enjoy!

2009-04-29T21:50:00.002+08:00

Just feeling really, really weary. Been getting more sick since sunday and I have absolutely no heart to go for the MA paper tomorrow. I haven't done my cheat sheet, I've never even seen like half the syllabus before. It'll be a miracle if I can do more than 2 questions tomorrow. How many questions are there? I don't know, I didn't check out the exam format either. I don't even feel like stepping into the exam hall.

I just think you should go for it and give your best, to finish well. You know what I mean?

Yeah I know you mean. My parents want me to finish this sem well regardless of where I'll be next sem. I did too. But well I guess I lost any sense of purpose in being here long ago. Sigh. I don't know.

Sorry again if you end up reading this.

2009-04-28T18:05:00.006+08:00

It hasn't been the best of weeks. A headache from sunday has gotten worse into sore throat/block nose/chills. Even with a jacket on it was pretty uncomfortable in the freezing exam hall yesterday. Regardless, today is still cause for celebration! Today was the launch of the National Workplace Safety and Health Campaign and also the prize giving ceremony for the "Safety Starts With Me" Campaign. We had to report pretty early and had a lot of free time after the briefing so I went to look at the exhibits while waiting. There were lots of good pieces, stories, posters, photos, videos and 3D models, but this poster I really like.

I think it's really aesthetic, from the positioning of the text relative to the blocks to the white outlining and all. Really cool. There was a pre-primary to primary category and the kids were really cute, especially while waiting around haha

After the launch we had to station ourselves by our work as the Minister of Manpower, Mr Gan Kim Yong, and some other VIPs toured the exhibits. After hearing that I was from NUS mech engin, the chairman of WSH asked if there was much taught on safety there lol but well, so far its like mostly lectures. He said they were considering putting it into our syllabus! Do I see an Engineering Safety 1101 (ES1101) inc?!? But fortunately they said we'll get our safety training during internship and/or after joining a company and that they probably shouldn't fatten our already bursting syllabus. Phew....

It's been a while since the concept submission in february, and it's still pretty unreal. I saw the video advertisement on TVMobile umpteen times before considering to take part. After deciding and thinking up ideas I almost forgot about the submission dateline and was logging off msn past midnight and about to sleep when I remembered I had to mail it in the morning. Picked up a pencil and did some quick sketching and wrote more than I drew. Kinda weird for a 3D model submission lol. From then till now, winning the silver, $3000 and being able to get a new laptop after losing one in January... I really thank God, this is just unreal....

EG1413, PJC, Bras Basah

2009-04-24T23:38:00.004+08:00

It's the EXAMS. I mean it's (supposedly) the reading week, but the first of the exams of NUS has started on the thursday of reading week. Critical thinking and writing paper today, and after the paper Ivan and myself went down to collect our position paper. We got 70 for the paper and 75 for oral defence. So far for this module I've gotten

Assignment 1: 71 (21%)
Assignment 2: 75 (21%)
OD: 70 (9%)

leaving class participation (9%) (which I should get 70+ for also, this module is such a joy after all the terribad engin tutorials) and today's paper which is 40%. Hopefully I can get an A for this module, at least let me get one A in NUS before I leave haha!

Went down to PJ yesterday and caught up a bit with Wei Wei, Mrs Low and our coach. To think 3+ years has flown past just like that... Also wanted to check out if they needed any PE relief teachers but the term ends in May and my last paper is on the first week of May so not much point... I guess it'll be back to SMC if they still have space, wonder how much the staff there have changed, I remember a lot of them left/were leaving around the time I stopped.

Before going to PJ I was at Bras Basah again, I got the stuff I wanted for Mother's Day but I'm not sure I'll be able to pull it off, and I need to start like really soon cause it's coming and I still have papers to study for! While I was there I popped by Tec Man was just looking around (for something I knew was highly super unlikely would be there but I still went in anyway, BUT got another idea for something that'll I work on tomorrow. Probably.).

Timor? Timor.

2009-04-21T23:50:00.003+08:00

Some weeks back I was thinking abut going back to Timor, and while running last night Pastor Peter called me, but I didn't realise it cause my phone was on silent and in my pocket. He mentioned about leading a team much earlier in the year and asked some of us if we were interested but he said he would like to finalise names around end march or so, so I thought there wasn't any point in checking with him if it was still possible. But it turns out he's confirming names around this period so it might be possible to go back.

Just saw Rachel's photos of New Zealand and I'll love to go there someday, it just breathtaking man. But strangely enough, with Timor at the back of my mind seeing the photos made me want to go back to Timor and be the team photographer this time. More of an excuse to get my hands on the camera. I mean of course I'll take shots of the trip and the stuff we did and all but I what I really want to capture is the places and people just as they are, their homes, daily lives etc, not shots of Timorese kids around a bunch of malae..

It might not be breathtaking, it might not be beautiful, it might be the kind of photos you post on facebook which people take a look at a photo or two then just skip the album

It might be dusty, boring, rundown, broken, painful, but it'll definitely be reality and their everyday. If we see beautiful places and wish to be a part of it, when we see broken places would we wish to be part of changing it?

Why didn't I immediately agree? Thoughts about NIE and orientation and all. But heck it, school term should start only in August and if I miss orientation JTB, it's a rather lame concern compared to Timor...

Maromak hadomi Timor Leste

Bro's birthday, Sakae and much, much more...

2009-04-14T22:59:00.004+08:00

We celebrated my brother's birthday by having a dinner buffet at sakae sushi. My brother and sister had planned to keep all the plates to see how many we could stack up to, but unfortunately a waitress cleared some while we were chatting. Then again I don't think we ate that much haha. He's getting a razer salmosa mouse just like my sister!

Just before dinner the mention of sakae led to a conversation about japanese food with some details seemingly too coincidental to be true. It was like, no wayyyyy this is just unreal, zhen de na me qiao mah?!?

After getting back to hall bumped into Jerryl and Timothy who showed me this hilarious clip on the World of World of Warcraft, enjoy!

2009-04-14T00:40:00.001+08:00

First run to KAP mac in a looooong time. Hill runs last week was bad and an urgent reminder that I need to get down to some serious training with sundown up in a month and a half's time. Heard there'll be IPPT during ICT in June so I should aim to hit gold by then, though it seems extremely far away at the moment. The run was pretty tiring at the start and as I was approaching Maju I was wondering if I was actually going to finish this.

Stop thinking about the pain and how tired you are

Ease up and just enjoy the run, the music and the cool of the night. A few steps later I see a familiar slope on the left, the slope leading up to Maju.

Nights out and dota-ing with the rest, supper at Al Ahmin/Al Azah/Mac, early morning runs to Hwa Chong... Good memories

My pace picks up and I run more relaxed. I guess sometimes during tough times our memories help carry us through. The times we were weary from studying and someone starts talking about the crazy things we used to do, everyone has a good laugh and after awhile we go back to our work refreshed. The times in army when you think you won't make it through but you remember all the other crazy and draining times you had, keep your head up and push on...

But I wonder, do we do the same think with God? When times are tough do we hold on to the memories of how he carried us through, or do we merely cry of why things are the way they are? I guess sometimes we let circumstances overwhelm us and unknowingly, we let one situation in time overshadow eternal character, I know I do sometimes.

A psalmist cried out "I lift up my eyes to the hills, from where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:1-2)

Isaiah said "but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint" (Isaiah 40:31)

In a time when Israel was oppressed Zephaniah said "On that day it shall be said to Jerusalem: 'let not you hands grow weak. The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoic over you with gladness; he will quiet you with his love he will exult over you with loud singing". (Zephaniah 3:16-17)

But sometimes it seems that what I'll be crying out is why, as if I didn't already have enough things on my plate and giving my best, this has to happen. I guess sometimes blessings seem to become entitlements. This journey won't always be smooth sailing, but I'll always have someone watching over me. May the memories of every mountain He brings me through along the way remind me that He'll be there with me through the next one too...

Psalm 77:9-15

Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he in anger shut up his compassion?

Then I said."I will appeal to this, to the years of the right hand of the Most High"

I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonders of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way, O God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders; you have made known your might among your people. You with your arm redeemed your people, the children of Jacob and Joseph.

My own laptop once again =)

2009-04-12T22:33:00.002+08:00

Went down to Funan today and after walking around many shops with my sister, we found the best deal at a shop called pa mart (one floor below the food court). They were willing to change the Mircosoft Office package to an Acer extended 3 year warranty for a top up of $50. Other shops charged like 200+ to 300+ for the extended warranty and gave some anti virus thingy instead. In the end it cost $1548. After long hours of file transferring from my brother's laptop to mine, I finally got to use a proper computer again hahaha. No more long loading times for web pages and hmm yes I installed microsoft office, no more uber long openoffice loading times and thinking that docx can't be opened by openoffice =X Has a pretty cool media touch pad at the side with play/pause, stop, forward, rewind and volume scale. Only 2 usb ports though, and the USB hub I just bought is SPOILT lol gotta go change it on tuesday.

2009-04-10T20:14:00.007+08:00

Matthew 27:29 and twisting together a crown of thorns, they put it on his head and put a reed in his right hand. And kneeling before him, they mocked him, saying, "Hail, King of the Jews!

1 Peter 2:24 He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed.

Love and humility. Guess that was what I was thinking about today. The humbling of oneself and the servant hood symbolized in feet washing doesn't even come close to what was done on the cross. Bearing the weight of sin of those who scorned him, mocked him, crucified him...

1 Peter 2:23 When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly.

Luke 23:34 And Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."

What kind of a heart does it take to be able to do that? Admittedly I'll probably take after Peter instead, draw my sword and let swing (and aim for more than just an ear).

You bought my life
With the blood that You shed on the cross
When you died
For the sins of Man
And you let out a cry, crucified, now alive in me

These hands are Yours
Teach them to serve as You please
And I reach out
Desperate to see all the greatness of God
May my soul rest assured in You

I'll never be the same
No, I'll never be the same

Cause I know that You're alive
You came to fix my broken life
And I'll sing to glorify
Your Holy Name, Jesus Christ

Guess the above lyrics sums up Good Friday best for me.

Show me Your heart
Show me Your way
Show me Your glory

2009-04-09T23:22:00.007+08:00

Oral defence for EG1413 DOWN! Brings a close to our position paper after so many weeks. It went pretty smoothly and seemed more like a pretty casual conversion than a defence lol. Especially after how the previous group told us they got kinda hammered by her. Gave Ivan the capo I bought for him the other day. Speaking of new stuff, my sister got a shirt for me from the USA and a pair of adidas slippers for my brother but it was too big for him so I got it instead haha.
Long day tomorrow I should probably go turn in.

28th! =)

2009-04-08T23:58:00.003+08:00

Got the email regarding the award details but I'm rather confused...

You and 1guest are invited to attend the awards ceremony at the NWSH Campaign 2009 launch on Tuesday 28 April 2009, 1130am at the Tropics Atrium @ Suntec City Mall.

I thought the launch was open to the public. So what's with the 1 guest thingy, or is it a case of a seated area for invited guests only but the public are free to watch as well? Probably drop them an email tomorrow to clarify. It seems they take it pretty seriously,

Please note that your team will be required to attend a compulsory rehearsal on Monday 27 April, 700 pm - 830 pm at the Tropics Atrium @ Suntec City Mall.

MLE exam in the morning and rehearsal in the evening. 30th is MA paper (which I'll probably die at) If anyone's interested, in conjunction with the National Workplace Safety and Health Campaign, there will be an exhibition of the winning entries (3D modeling, posters, videos, photography etc) from Tuesday 28th April till Sunday 3rd May at the Tropics Atrium at Suntec City.

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Went down to Brewerkz with Ting Yu for pick up. Terrible field. Small, uneven and slippery... But on the bright side it was bad enough that they decided it shall be moved back to West Coast haha. No longer a need for the long travel time (which most unfortunately, is even longer than the game itself). Still pretty rusty at ultimate, made a lot of fumbles in the end zone that would have been goals instead, but still scored a few here and there. Diving for one tore open my knee wound again sigh... It's been there since like late January, when it eventually heals there'll probably be a permanent scar.

Thank You Lord

2009-04-06T18:41:00.003+08:00

Terribad storm in the afternoon today while having lunch, at first it was drizzling when we were walking over to techno and once we got our food it turned into a storm. But in the midst of it I received a call. "Hi, is this Matthew Kwan? This is Mark Han.."

Hmmm I remember the lady at GlobeArt mentioning something about the judging being around the start of April, could it be...

I'll like to congratulate you on getting the second prize for the 3D modeling competition..

OH YESSSSSSSSS

Unfortunatedly the storm made communication difficult cause he could barely hear me. He updated me on the details of the prize presentation and said he would send me an email (I should probably start giving my gmail instead of hotmail, fa5tbr3ak can be terribly difficult to communicate over the phone). Wooo $3K! Guess that solves my laptop problem hehe. After hearing about it Ivan starts talking about the things he would buy with 3k, an electric guitar, an effects paddle, a capo (yes, I'll get that one for you).

It's been really surreal... Thank you Lord for the favor and miracle =)

I really should have kept my letters better...

2009-04-06T01:31:00.002+08:00

Sunday: Was cleaning up my table in the afternoon in a bid to make more space on it. Guess I'm too used to my table back here in Eusoff. At home I put my laptop and mouse pad down and there goes all the space I have. I wonder how I managed to clear so much off my table considering I barely used it the past year. While I was freed up space going through files, rearranging books etc, I stumbled upon a few letters from a long time ago. I wish I had kept letters from my younger days better... One was from a guy called Jinghui who was a group leader for a recycling CIP project that Singapore Youth for Christ helped conduct with GESS back in 2002. Funny how we both went to PJ and then became a combat engineer specialist. Unfortunatedly he met me in a time when I had drifted away from church. I remember turning him down a few times when he wanted to meet up. When we finally met at YFC at the end of it I remember telling him I wasn't interested in joining them. He must have been pretty disappointed, especially with all the effort he put in. Not so pleasant memories... 2002, oldest letter I have, at least every one after it tells of a different story...

The next few came together in a stack of four. One was a red card with a yellow star in the center. Hmmm Vietnam? Opened the card...

Hey precious gentleman

kind words from a leader I'll be forever grateful too. Gentle, loving and a great worship leader. One of my first leaders after I returned to church. Yes, it was from our mission trip to Vietnam, the first mission trip I had been to. Still remember much from that trip... Travelling to the orphanage that seemed to be in the middle of nowhere, working with the kids there and giving them some of the bread we had brought. Working with the deaf/mute. Finishing up our skit preparations at a missionary's house that went late into the night, in the midst of which Wee Kok and myself had to go buy water for the next day. The two of us retraced the path we took to the place we had dinner at and stopped at the supermarket that was along the route. First time (coming to think it of I think it was the first and only time) I had ever seen 5 litre mineral water bottles. We bought a few and started our epic journey of lugging them back. Us being the "vanguard" whenever the team was out since we were the only guys. Good times... Makes me think of going back to Timor again, wonder if in the coming holidays there's any team to Dili where Lishan is...

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Done with the I am list, next up is the long overdue Treasure Hunt camp debrief. Just need to collect one more submission to complete the compilation.

2009-04-04T23:39:00.002+08:00

My cell has now found new loves; bowling and arcade basketball lol. We were at SAFRA Mount Faber and had 2 hilarious games of bowling. Matthew (koh) , Cedric and Josh had a few chain 9/- frames and they just sprawled on the floor screaming WHYYYYYY. Melissa needed her M&M's and Kit Kat "energy boosters" before she bowled. Someone even had a classic chiongtothelaneswingandhavetheballflybackwards episode haha. Matthew was pleased with his first over 100 game and Josh with his spare-strike-spare ( which was unfortunatedly followed by a -/-). Was interesting to watch them cheer each other on and even try to give each other advice, maybe Alina was right, "red sea" starting to close? Matthew even volunteered to go over to the girls team for a 3v3, something absolutely unthinkable in the past.
We spent some time at the arcade which didn't really have much stuff. We ended up chionging the basketball machine trying to break scores. Top tag team was Cedric and myself and the worse score was when we tried to squeeze 5 people at once. Shots that were going in got hit out by someone elses shot lol. At service we're sitting as a cell again, as requested by them haha, good stuff...

Service next week is about a lady who was stranded (left clinging to a canoe) at sea for 3 days and how God saw her through it, a modern day Jonah!

2009-04-04T10:19:00.004+08:00

Done with part of the "I am" list that I've been pushing back for a long time now. Between the 101 things going on, tests, IHG, sets I'm sure I could have found time here and there to do them but I didn't. Character isn't something you try to attain like a certificate or try to show the world, it's something you live. What was defining about you today means little if tomorrow you walk another way and throw it away. The "I am" list, chasing people for stuff I needed to compile the Treasure Hunt debrief that should have been submitted months ago... I guess I had let some events and situations overwhelm me, and was just sick of the ways things had been turning out. But it's hightime for a turn around I must bring about and stick to.

Cell was just a time of personal sharing as we are entering the 2nd quarter of the year, going back to our cell vision of being a "closely knitted family transfomed to be Christ like". I guess that's the difficulty when everyone's leading cells and we have our concerns and focus on our cells and segment. I won't deny I miss being part of the NUS cell. But as we shared about our personal lives and one new thing happening in our lives (or at least tried to, I think everyone can agree that a new thing can be quite hard to think of lol), I think of NUS -> NIE. When this first started out it was the fantastic four of Joel, Daryl , Ivan and myself. After our first sem Joel went over to business and we reformed as the three musketeers (remember the names k, it might just be your 20 million dollar question some day!) If I go over to NIE next sem it'll be down to a dynamic duo... Feel quite bad about it, it's like pang seh-ing them. Wtb classes and school activites like back in secondary school and JC, universities are so academic focused it's evil. At least from my lousy biased sample size of so far just, one. All that said I'm most grateful and thankful for the company over the past few days. Might have been short, not much might have been done and my terribad laptop kept going crazy needing a gazillion refreshes, but I appreciate the times. I don't wish to leave Eusoff either, and I wish I could stay on while studying in NIE, but I'm afraid it's just not possible...

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So it was that someone was blessed, it brought a smile to her face and I'm glad it did =)
Seems like what I tried to capture of the chorus managed to come through, and yes that is a teardrop in the rain.

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Another song plays on as I write, making me think of something else, playing around with ideas, another picture to draw. There's something about graphite that makes it so much more expressive than colour. Maybe it's the raw-ness of it that matches the expression. But this picture will be for a different cause, a different place, a different time. Help me make it come through, once again it requires elements I've never done before, and God give me strength to complete it on that day, I know I'll be needing it...

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Mraz is incredibly poetic

See I'm all about them words
Over numbers, unencumbered numbered words
Hundreds of pages, pages, pages, for words
More words then I had ever heard and I feel so alive

Hey Mr. Curiosity
Is it true what they've been saying about you
Are you killing me?
You took care of the cat already

In a hurry to spell check me
And I'm underlined already in envy green
And pencil red

I should probably youtube him more. Oh and Korean crowds are amazing. Front row is all seats some more.

2009-04-02T23:49:00.003+08:00

Seems like so little yet so much has happened today. Maybe especially because of what happened the last few hours... Guess I was absolutely caught by a song and some thoughts. Finished my metal alloy notes and was wondering if I should start or go for a run first. In the end I decided to just start cause the run to KAP would probably take too long and leave me too tired.

It's been quite awhile since I used my pencils. Fished them out of my pencil case and sharpened them. Grabbed a piece of paper and started sketching on it. Or at least I had intended it to be for sketching since I had to draw stuff I had absolutely no confidence of getting right. But everything fell into place rather smoothly and I just carried on, filling the paper bit by bit. The song played on repeatedly; the chorus capturing me as much as I tried to capture it down on paper... By the time I finished I was too drained to even think about going for a run. But I'm glad I finished the drawing. May someone be blessed.

One tear in the dropping rain,
One voice in a sea of pain...
Could the Maker of the stars,
Hear the sound of my breaking heart?

One light is all I am,
Right now I can barely stand...
If You're everything you say you are,
Won't you come close and hold my heart?

Gasping for breath...

2009-04-02T00:57:00.004+08:00

Wednesday was a pretty smooth day for tutorials EG got them done pretty quick, but spent a LOT of time trying to fix firefox's flash plugin problem that keeps killing my web cast lectures. Gave up and decided to just use IE instead. Went down to West Coast Park for my first pick up today. The people were friendly and good. A lot of long throws into the deep straight through the defence. Long time since I've played ultimate, long enough for me to forget how tiring this game is... Nonetheless it was great fun, except for a really scary accident. I was making a cut into the open and looking at my team mate with the frisbee.

No pass.

Too far to the side now, I turned to look at the rest of the field...

*Oouuff* Ahhhhh *gasp for air*

Oh my god I heard the sound of soft tissue
Are you okay?
Can you breathe?

A defender from the opposition was following a member of my team who ran past me and just as I turned the defenders shoulder rammed straight into my lower ribs and abdomen. I was running fast on the cut too, making the impact even worse. Totally lost, I was partly in shock because it happened so suddenly and unexpectedly, partly in pain and had the air knocked out of me, partly scared because it was hard to breath and rib injuries are really scary because it moves everytime you breath. Slowly walked to the edge of the playing field while trying to ease my breathing. Everyone was really worried I fractured a rib or something. Sat down and caught my breath. Man, I could feel the whole impact zone... Felt that if I took my shirt off I would see a mini crater on my body lol felt "indented". Fortunately it subsided pretty fast. The game ended a few mintues after that as it was getting too dark. We broke into groups and continued to just toss. A girl from PJ (forgot her name) later asked if I was okay and said "uughhh sounded like liquid gushing out I'll never forget that sound ahhhhh". There was another Eusoffian who joined the game as well who was actually at WCP for a jog. So happens she heard about it before through rachel. The world sure is small... Didn't join the rest of the players for dinner since I had brought only cash but not a farecard lol. By then hall dinner was over so we went to Fong Sheng prata instead. Paid first since she didn't have cash with her. Over our conversation she mentioned about ECF and if I was interested to go join them. Not sure if I will, previously was just too busy, now I've intending to leave NUS in a few weeks so joining would be kinda strange too. I'll probably just go down though, since I'm not as busy now and a few people have asked me to...

2009-03-31T23:41:00.004+08:00

Second EG lab down today, one last one to go next week. Headed down to GlobeArt in the afternoon to take a look at my model. I set off rather early since it was my first time there and I wasn't familiar with the area. After reaching Kallang MRT took a bus down and stopped opposite block 66 of geylang bahru as suggest by streetdirectory.com haha. I should have taken a better look at how to get from there to block 77 where the company was located though.But all was cool had over half an hour to find it. Took a little walk hmm block 65 nope... ah block 67, continue bashing till I hit a clearing, yes block 68! On track, just keep following the general direction.. BLOCK 60?!? Took a look around and saw block60, 68 and a board listing blocks 50-ish. Uh-oh HOTEL LIMA liao! But still had time, so I went back to the main road and saw the block opposite was 72 and further down was block 73, but they were all HBD blocks, so I didn't expect to find the company there. Just when I was thinking maybe horlan liao, suddenly I see...

KALLAN(G) Basin Industrial Basin! Horlan, Kallan, might be a clue! So I venture in and see block 74! Yes must be on track. As I went further in the place looked really old and each block was a long 1 storey stretch of shophouses dealing in iron works, brass works, caskets, undertakers, props companies... A little later found GlobeArt and there was a group there already discussion one of their models so I waited outside first. While waiting saw some of the other stuff they were doing, and some of the models being built were just like the flower we built for DP! Skeleton built of wire mesh and later something else was pasted on top before paiting. Not sure what they used though. Within a few mintues they got one of the workers to help set up my model at the back of the shop. It was scaled down a lot from my original full scale one (well, 6mX4m base is rather ridiculous, how would they make it through the door?). Unfortunately in the scaling down the proportion was lost as well so instead of a rectangle stretching sideways it's mroe squarish and feels rather crammed. But the new dimensions made it a lot easier to transport and all so it was ok. The changed the form of the signs and it still looks good =) The shadow was a big disappointment though. The question marks were flat 2D instead of looking 3D, too small and too many of them as well. In addition they were all complete and contained within the shadow instead of letting them get cut off together with the edges of the shadow. It was like one of my favourite parts of the original design. They said they will look into making the changes but my model is kinda about to burst the budget they were given so they might not be able to do a reprinting. Oh well... Overall still looks pretty good though.

Back to hall after the trip to GlobeArt and some MLE before volleyball at night. In the end 12 came down so we had just enough people for a proper game. Good to see the team and be playing again. My court sense on the volleyball court is just terrible. Stand in a bad position too far to cover properly, keep forgetting to move back for spiking and end up getting in the setters way a few times wooops... Towards the end of the game someone on the opposite time set the ball and I instinctively ran over and jumped to block but I was too close to the net and Ruoci went for the spike. Our knees crashed into each other midair, I didn't feel much but I think she hit an old injury or something cause she was obviously affected and was sitting down holding her knee. After awhile she got up and limped a bit before walking and testing her knee before deciding to carry on with the game. Felt damn bad lah, even though it wasn't intentional... Getting hit on an injury old can be quite GG. Hope she's ok and it doesn't like swell or anything...

2009-03-30T23:22:00.003+08:00

Sunday: Met up with the old WoW buddies for lunch to celebrate GGG's birthday. His parents got him an iPhone and within just a few days he said he chalked up over 50 dollars worth of application downloads lol. Raging is a secondary two geography teacher never knew that and Krav is gonna graduate really soon. Walter had diarrhoea and only joined up at North's place after lunch (which reminds me I still owe him for Kwan Wei's present last year). But by then Krav, Raging and myself had left. Lacking sleep and lagging in work so I had to head home first. When I reached home just concuss-ed for a few hours before carrying on with MLE optical properties.

Monday: We had a project meeting for CTW today and one member was missing again sigh. While working on the report my internet went crazy again. Just can't figure out what keeps going wrong. It seems like a virus that cuts off the connection as loading begins (whenever I try to load a page it immediately shows "done" as if the page was loaded but it's empty. Many many refreshes later it loads, sometimes not at all). But even after reformatting last week it STILL sometimes has this problem (I suspect the system image my brother loaded from the backup already had a problem). Usually takes a virus scan and several restarts before it becomes sane again. Weird thing is that the viruses are usually found in the windows folders and sometimes alerts come up on start up even before I connect to wireless/LAN (which makes me think all the more the problem lies in the backup). Extremely frustrating. Anyway the position paper has gone through much restructuring and looks much more readable and has a better flow. A little more tweaks and we're good to hand it in.

Concuss-ed in the afternoon for a few hours again. No idea why I'm so tired. After dinner chiong MLE Mechanical properties till 10pm but only covered about half the chapter. One of the more heavy chapters of MLE so far. After 10 decided to run down the usual route to KAP Mac but as I was nearing SP I could feel some drizzle so I turned back and just ran within NUS instead. Ached pretty fast and the last time I did anything was like gym on friday. Probably need more rest...

Another EG1108 lab up tomorrow and the rest of the day will be MLE again and hopefully EG logic gates. Have to be down at GlobeArt at Geylang Bahru to take a look at the model they've built for me for the WSHC competition. Wonder why they they attached a computer drawn picture instead of just taking a picture of the model since they said it has been completed lol. Seems like they made a few changes though, but nothing too siginificant. Hope enough people turn up at night for volleyball, seems like so far only Nic and myself have replied lol.

A stark difference between weariness and physical tire...
C'mon focus!

Cell! Totally made my day, week maybe?

2009-03-28T23:06:00.002+08:00

So Word was from John 13:1-17 and Luke 22:24-30 on feet washing. Well not really on feet washing feet washing. Didn't touch much on the symbolism with regards to the crucifixion and cleansing that he would bring (v8 - 11), didn't want to overload them. Started sharing with a little on background information, the significance of the last supper occurring during the Passover and on the cultural practice of feet washing (In Palestine it was customary to have their feet washed before a meal since they had only sandals and not covered shoes and walked across dusty and muddy terrain. This task was usually done by servants or wives.)

Jesus knew his time had come.

He knew it was time for Him to leave the world and His disciples (v1). This would be His last act of service unto them (other than death on the cross) before He was about to leave.

Jesus was well aware of his identity.

He knew God gave everything into His hands, that He was from God and that He would be going back to God (v3). He was well aware of His identity and status.

Yet he chose to serve.

Regardless of His identity and status He chose to be the one who serves, and tells the disciples to "let the greatest among you become as the youngest, and the leader the one who serves"(Luke 22:26), contrary to the world's standards. Must have been a really painful lesson for them considering that they were disputing about who amongst them was the greatest.

The motivation was love.

It was all for love. Later in the chapter He gives the disciples the commandment to "love one another: just as I have loved you" (v34) . Going back to v1 of the chapter all this occurred "when Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end."
This also ties in the the other portion of feet washing, that it symbolic of the cleansing Jesus would bring through the crucifixion, which is why he told Peter "If I do not wash you, you have no share with me" and in reference to Judas "Not all of you are clean" for though he was a disciple he chose to reject Jesus and betray him. That was the ultimate act of service and humility. From Philippians 2:7,8 "but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the cross."
The other portion is where the disciples are told to do just as Jesus had done to them. Of course He wasn't asking them to get crucified for others, but in reference to being the one who serves. And just as Jesus served out of love, so should we. But think about it, isn't that what service is? Isnt it...

... Love in action.

Service is love in action. Service exists because loves does. Anywhere along the way if we lose sight of this service is meaningless. We serve one another in various ways because we love one another. When we start to serve because of responsibilities, obligations etc we really miss the point. This goes beyond serving in church, it's about serving where ever we are for who ever it may be for, friends teachers etc... That was what I hoped they captured and would hold with them as they grow, that their service to others would be born out of love, that their service would really be their love put into actions.

At the end of Word told them about what was happening on Good Friday and that the secondary one segment was looking for volunteers to help out in the changing of water for feet washing. Cedric jumps out of his chair and stands in the middle of the circle and says "ME! I will go and SHARE THE LOVE!" So cute lah hahahaha. Melissa says her sister was helping out as well and asks Joscelyn "we go serve together lah" and Joscelyn goes "ok, you don't pang seh me ah!" Then Cedric approaches me and asks "can I be the one washing the feet instead?" Stunning. Secondary one boy asking if he can wash people's feet. Wow. In the end the whole cell volunteered to serve on Good Friday =)

"You must be very encouraged"
I was very surprised, encouraged of course. Made my day lah these kids, may be made my week even.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As "Healer" was sung during service today some lines just made me think of some sad news I heard earlier in the day... Neither know them nor can I say I understand the pain, but may things work out in time....

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas

I trust in You
I trust in You

I believe you're more than enough for me

You hold my world in Your Hands

It's the weekend again!

2009-03-28T09:04:00.004+08:00

Saturday morning and I'm still in hall once again. Can't remember the last time I went home on a friday night. IHG, tests, DP... Last night sets had a psot DP dinner at Suntec and as expected we ended pretty late so I decided to stay in hall instead of heading home. We ate at Joaquim, the restaurant under the convention centre area. The food was pretty good, but well it has to be considering it's a $26 buffet lol. We ended up spamming char siew cause the steamboat was cooking pretty slowly haha. Won't be going home tonight either though, now that I'm back to playing for cell I can't bring both my guitar AND my laptop home so I come back to hall on sat nights to dump my guitar sleep then head home with my laptop on sunday morning. But tomorrow we'll be celebrating GGG's 21st, so I won't be home much again.

I think I should be writing more, most of my posts are disjointed one sentences that show I'm obviously brain dead by the time I blog at the end of the day. During our conference with Mdm Chan for the position paper of EG1413 she told us that our major problem was organization of our points. She felt as if things were rather disjointed making some things feel like a double read. Probably my fault since I determined the direction for most of the paper. She complained about our title AGAIN. "Equal access to cord blood for all" She said that, once again, our title is too jazzy and newspaperish. I seriously thought that this time it was as plain and "stiff" as could be. "Your personal cord blood, the essential life saver, or so they say" yes that was jazzy, "beyond the advertising and to the bottomline of benefits" jazzy, yes, but surely "Equal access to cord blood for all" is plain, no? Hope Ivan or Wang Chao can come up with something, cause I'm pretty sure anything I come up with is gonna end up being "jazzy" lol.

For Good Friday the secondary one segment is in charge of helping out at the feet washing station. We were supposed to submit the names of members who could help out on thursday, but I asked for the dateline to be pushed to after cell on saturday so we could have Word on the passage on feet washing. At least that way the kids would have a better understanding and appreciation of what they would be helping out in, although it will kinda different since we'll be helping change the water only. Did think about having our own feet washing session but decided against it since I knew that the reason why I would be doing it would be more like a "we'll be doing it on Good Friday, so since we're going to teach them about it why not we do it for them? " Guess to me that's not really sincere intentions, though they may be well-meaning. There will be more appropriate occasions for it and I shall leave it till then.

HAWKING hahaha yes, that's what we were called! When Kwan Wei posted the photos from ultimate I was still wondering if we were called like green house hahaha. Speaking of ultimate hopefully next week I'll be able to check out the pick-up games at West Coast since it rained this week...

Magnetic properties, cantilevers, Laplace and MA dinner

2009-03-26T23:15:00.004+08:00

With only an hour of MLE lecture for class today the rest of the day was spent finishing up magnetic properties notes, cantilevers from mathematical modeling from MA1506. Spamming maths web casts this week to catch up. Hall merit award dinner at night, the dress attire was smart casual but some people looked like totally smart and not casual lol. Awarded a certificate of commendation for basketball and considering I got into Eusoff by appealing through basketball, it's a good thing I managed to get something for it, otherwise it would be quite paiseh lol. Later part of the night it was back to MA catching up with Laplace and unfortunately I only finished the earlier half of it but tomorrow's tutorial is on the later half + early half of matrices. Guess I'll just do what I can tomorrow before EG1413 conference and between lunch and the tutorial.

Much as I can't wait to get into NIE, leaving Eusoff will be a very sad thing that will have to come with it...

How hard is it to find a frisbee in Singapore? You'll be surprised...

2009-03-24T23:34:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday Cheryl! Her gift has been lying around in my room for quite a while, did it much earlier cause I expected to be busy since it was so close to DP. Glad I did, DP turned out to be much busier than I had expected.

Did my first EG1108 lab today, went very well since it was the easiest of the 3 labs and a very short one too. After that had lunch before going on a frisbee hunt. I remembered seeing a good one at the adidas shop at vivo in the past, so I went back there but it was sold out =/. Went to other shops in vivo as well as harbourfront but they didn't have any at all! Well one shop did have the toy kinds that would chui pretty fast. Thought I'll go down to queensway instead and to my immense disappointment, there was none there either -_- though 2 shops sold toy frisbees again. Now I really understand what Da Lun and Cheryl meant when they said they hunted all over for a frisbee for me last year and couldn't get one. It's was just unbelieveable.

At night there was like a sports carnival at MPC lol. We were playing basketball then the takraw and touch ruggers came down as well. It was like flooded with people, 4 on 4 bball on one half of the court, touch ruggers on the other and many next-teams of takraw players warming up beside the takraw court. At 10 went for block supper. First proper block supper since stepping into hall lol. The food was like totally devoured. At first we had to keep calling for people to come up for supper, but after Prof Ho and Andrew gave their speeches and the eating began, the food disappeared incredibly fast (as did the crowd). Finished EG1108 tutorial 6 and going back to tutorial 5, looked at the lecture notes and the textbooks and they have conflicting formulas -_- just wonderful. Gotta ask the tutor tomorrow liao...

2009-03-23T00:23:00.002+08:00

DP on friday was an awesome performance! The actors threw in a few spontaneous changes that made things significantly funnier and judging by the sound of the audience's applause, laughing and cheering they probably loved it. Ivan was pretty stunned by the standard and both Pat and Alina said it was a good show. The way it was run was just pathetic though. So sick of it I don't wanna even type it all out.

Working with the sets team was a great experience, but beyond sets it's meh...
As the last few days approached DP it wasn't really a climax, in fact it was one hell of a letdown...

2009-03-20T00:40:00.002+08:00

The last few days at UCC have been pretty cool, putting together the larger sets and attaching them to the flybars, making adjustments, turning the bare stage into the places we want it to be. The stage is a pretty magical place... Too bad we aren't allowed to go up to where they operate the flybars though, would love to see what it's like up there. Tonight, tonight. Tonight we'll put on a show the audience will definitely remember...

One chance to bring the house down, one chance to make this all worthwhile.

2009-03-18T04:29:00.003+08:00

Watching over the sets at UCC now. We moved everything from Eusoff over in about 6 lorry trips. Just as we had finished moving and arranging everything it TA, it started to rain! Canvas sheets, trash bags, cloth and whatever we had to try and keep the sets dry. Just as we finished about 30 mins of covering the sets and the rain stopped. It was about 330 by then. Tiredd...

2009-03-17T06:09:00.002+08:00

On monday we started work for sets at 7 and ended on tuesday 5am LOL. Welfare includes 1 cereal bar and 2 rounds of bubble tea. Finished up all structures and painting, packed our tools and materials for set up at UCC. The modifications to the Ultimate Cure Machine looks really good, though it does look like part of some Japanese manga haha. Gotta buy lots of stuff for tml, probably gonna collect back my miniature from Cread as well.

2009-03-16T03:19:00.003+08:00

We started at 5pm today, having supper now. Tml class from 8 to 6pm and sets at 7pm. The other days we're moving into UCC and the hours will be crazier. Super exhausted...

2009-03-15T01:57:00.002+08:00

Friday: Our group for EG1413 met to finish up our recommendations of our position paper for checking on monday. Supposed to meet from 10-12 but someone sms-ed only at 1130 cause he just woke up GG. So the other 2 of us did whether we could from 10-12 and and now just need to merge parts. Met Rachel for lunch to catch up. Third year and moving to honours year, so fast lah! To think it's been more than 3 years since we graduated from PJ. Seems like a lot has happened in 3 years. Talked till almost late for class lol...

At night we had our first leaders' cell in a long time. Was good meeting up as a cell again, Ferdi and Zach were extremely high haha. None of us really understood why though. After going back was to tired to study for sat's EG1108 test so I just went to sleep.

Saturday: EG1108 test at 10am. It went pretty well except for one complicated circuit that will probably kill most people. Straight after the test it was back to hall for DP piecing. Those who managed to get tickets for DP are definitely in for a treat! But after we finished our 2 runs it was 6+ and we had to carry on with sets at 8 cause we still have props to rush finish before we move them to UCC on tuesday night. Made a quick trip down to church to deliver some stuff. Got Camelia to help me pass Zhong Kai his birthday card and pass Joseph my PJ training jersey. May he train hard and play for PJ too haha. Grabbed a quick dinner and it was then back to sets. We chionged till about 1am. A few of us went for supper but most just went back to sleep lol. Speaking of which it should be my turn as well, tomorrow we're starting sets again in the afternoon! No going home this weekend...

Not having closure can be a really frustrating feeling, I know. But hopefully you'll hear something over the weekend yeah

2009-03-12T00:46:00.002+08:00

Got owned yesterday at EG lab. I got the dates wrong and was supposed to go last tuesday but I still went for this week's one since it was also experiment three. But I was told to drop an email to arrange a makeup lab instead -_- oh well... More painting the last 2 days, my shoes are pretty colourful by now haha requested to be excused from thursday nights painting so I can prep for sat's EG1108 test and catch up on maths. Laplace is over and I haven't really understood any of it yet. EG tutorial today was terrible cause the tutor did half tutorial 4 and half of 5 and I hadn't even gone through the chapter for tutorial 5 so pretty much everything he explained flew right pass me...

This could be everything or this could mean nothing... This limbo is just terrible...

2009-03-10T01:06:00.002+08:00

Absolute KO on monday. After ending so late past midnight on sunday it was classes from 8-6 on monday with 3h of break only. During MLE lecture I just slept through probably 3/4 of it. Was so tired the pen in my hand fell off as I dozed off lol. Sets from 7pm till midnight. After washing up Matthew Wan asked me some EG1108 practice set question. My brain was totally dead didn't know what I was doing when attempting the question, had to fish up my notes and do some reading first in the end. But well, at least at the end of every monday, HALF THE WEEK IS OVER YESSSSSSS. Received a call in the afternoon regarding the WHSC competition and they're trying to arrange a time they can meet groups of participants at a time. I think the company in charge is Clear Channel (the one in that has adverts at almost every bus stop) Gonna have to finish my miniature model and eg1108 tutorial tomorrow after lab and before sets.

2009-03-09T01:21:00.003+08:00

Friday was the physical proficiency test for PE teaching in NIE. It's just something you need to pass before you start your course in NIE but it doesn't affect the acceptance of an application. I was so shocked went I looked at the detailing list. I was wondering how they would get enough people for the ball possession game since it was 6 at a time. But there were actually 250+ people coming for the test! Met a guy in my group called Jonathan who was also transferring out of his current course to NIE and he was from engin too, electrical though haha. Yue Hua (a friend from Pre-U Sem in JC) was in my group also, didn't know she was from Team Singapore Dragon Boat, fierce sia. There was this state cricket player from India called North(or maybe Noth, his accent was very heavy and kinda hard to catch) too. The gymnastics test and agility run were pretty interesting (badminton was just exchanging of strokes, swim was just clearing the 25m and ball possession was just a grading of the way we make space and passes). Forward roll was not much of an issue for everyone but the back roll most of us couldn't really do one with good form. Surprisingly many people had trouble with the arabesque. The option of cartwheel/handstand/headstand was where most people had the most trouble. Many couldn't do a decent cartwheel, either landing awkwardly or bending their legs and arms a lot. For the heck of it I decided to do a handstand. Was kinda hesitant since I'm not always able to hold a decent handstand at my first go but you were allowed to try till you're satisfied so I decided just whack lah. Fortunately my first try went well lol held it for about 2 secs before losing some balance and moving my hands to compensate and held it a few seconds more. The agility test was harder than I thought, the run looked simple but the starting position was extremely strange. we proned on the floor and on "GO!" we would quickly get up and start running. Timing to beat for the full 3 points was 15.9 and I scraped a 15.3, having to prone made a significant difference to timing.
At church after SSL we celebrated Oli's birthday and Sam (Lo) was the ultimate kidnapper. Used a laptop cover to cover Oli's head and make her walk blindly all over church while the rest of us wrote her card and got ready the cake. After Sam took off the laptop cover Oli looked all flustered and breathless. We all sang happy birthday with a soon-to-have-all-the-candles-melt-out cake before Alina passed her the card and gift from the cell.

Saturday: First saturday in a long time I managed to spend with my sec one kids. We went to watch Marley and Me at Plaza Singapura, and it was actually the guys who suggested that show. Well Josh suggested it at least. While we were having lunch at PS bumped into Rachel and talked to her a bit before we left to catch the show. Haven't talked to her in like 4 years. Marley and me was a not bad show but I guess it's more for dog lovers. Celine cried at the end of the show and the boys kinda made a joke out of it, sigh.

Sunday had to meet Ivan and Wang Chao to finish up our EG1413 position paper introduction. Sigh, sunday also must meet. Fortunately we managed to clear it up fast. The night was spent painting and painting away at sets. We be painting every night in the coming week!

2009-03-05T22:49:00.002+08:00

MA1506 last night was terribad. 6/10. The past 3 papers combined were not as hard as this sem's one sigh, hyperbolic and trigo coming out zzz...

EG1413 is picking up pace and we're starting work on our position paper. Good thing we have a lot of information to fight our case but it's still gona be quite a task writing it out as a group and figuring how to divide things efficiently and effectively.

NIE physical proficiency test tomorrow! Should ace all except the gymnastics section would might be a little tricky. Need to finish up tutorials for next week and build a miniature for the designer so I have something for him/her to work with. Still haven't been contacted though, guess it's a good thing since I'm not yet prepared either hahaha.

The afternoon in (China)town

2009-03-03T23:37:00.003+08:00

Finished 2 MA1506 past year papers today; one in the morning and one in the evening. Did some shooting before the lights at MPC went out...

Spent some time over at Chinatown area in the afternoon since I was going for the discussion at Ministry of National Development. Had lunch at Maxwell Food Centre before walking around the area and taking some photos since I had quite some time to burn before I had to be at MND. Passed by the URA building, reminded me of the time a few of us from PJC were here for an interview with one of their CEO's for our Pre-University Seminar Presentation. It had those cool lifts where there weren't any levels for you to choose from; the security guard would punch in the floor the lift was to take you to from his desk.

The discussion at MND was a rather short one but it was definitely not what I had expected. Or at least the details they updated me on were most unexpected. It started off with them asking me about the rational and further details behind my concept and then they threw in the stunning part. I don't have to make the model on my own. Or more like I don't have to be involved in the physical building of the model at all. In a bid to make the model look more professional and more "artsy fartsy" as they put it, they'll be hooking me up with a professional designer who will build the model according to my design and specifications as well as a supplier who will handle all the materials needed. If that sounds extreme, the reason is because the models are no longer gonna be like the figurine size as in the video (that's always playing on TV mobile), they want it live size, think installation art/huge exhibits at museums. Looks like the government is taking this work safety campaign really seriously if they're willing to go to such an extent, not to mention the amount of money that must have been pumped into it for them to get designers and suppliers for all those shortlisted for the 3D models. So from this stage on they said that what they need from me is my time, to lias with the designer/supplier, check out how the building is getting along and they said I could go down and take a look at the actual building, maybe get involved if they allow me to. Can't wait to get started man, only huge problem now is that I have to come up with all the dimensions and specifications for a live size model and I need to think of what materials I'll need. No more plywood, cardboard, newspaper and spray paint as previously planned...

"It is written"

2009-03-01T22:48:00.002+08:00

Caught Slumdog Millionaire with the NUS cellies today, it's definitely a show worth catching. The story behind how he knew the answers is really sad though... I read up a little on the show the day before and saw the comment by AR Rahman, the Indian composer who received two Oscars for best song and best score. From BBC News: "He hailed 'all the people from Mumbai and the essence of the film, which is about optimism and the power of hope and our lives'." After watching the show, couldn't help but feel that he was totally wrong. Pretty sure the director was talking about destiny and not optimism and the power of hope and our lives, though Jamal's story and his reason for taking part in who wants to be a millionaire does make it seem that way. At the very start of the show there's a play on who wants to be a millionaire and shows the multiple choice of how Jamal knew the answers and to be honest at that point when I saw "it is written" I was totally huh-ed by it. Like absolutely no link. But at various points in the show and more importantly at the closing scene you hear Jamal/Latika saying things like "it is our destiny". I believe that was the whole subtle play on the "It is written" statement, and not the scene where the host tries to give Jamal the wrong answer in the toilet. That it was their destiny and the events that were played out were already "written" to happen. But maybe that's just my own interpretation haha. We had lunch/tea and chilled at Hong Kong Cafe at Taka after the show before going home in the midst of the downpour. It was incredibly packed at the underpass from Tangs to Orchard MRT, people were moving like snails and the bus stop outside Tangs was so overcrowded with people I had to wait at Tangs till the bus came before running to the bus stop to board the bus since I didn't have an umbrella lol.

Discussion for the WSHC 3D modelling competition on tuesday and physical proficiency test for NIE on friday, gonna be an interesting week!

"It is written"

I wanna bring General Bao home LOL

2009-02-27T02:09:00.002+08:00

Long night of sets tonight, we pushed till about 0130 or so? But time really flew today. Jackie and I finished up General Bao's hinges at the start of the evening and the rest of the night was just painting. He does look kinda megaman-ish though haha but it's still AWESOME haha. Would love to bring it home after DP hahaha. That said, I think everyone should really catch DP, sets are definitely WOW and though I've only seen part of the acting and dances, I think they're really good too!

The unexpected call...

2009-02-26T01:39:00.003+08:00

Received a call in the evening and I thought it was Joon Kit asking me if I would be at sets and if I had bought the stuff he asked me to get. But to my great surprise, it was actually someone from the Ministry of Manpower calling to tell me my concept for the "Safety Starts With Me" 3D Modeling competition had been shortlisted and I was to proceed with making it! But before I begin I'm to go for a discussion with them next tuesday, they want to make some changes to my concept and there will be someone to help guide me with the building of the actual model. Hopefully I can get the $100 material fee too haha. So excited man can't wait for tuesday!!!

2009-02-24T00:24:00.004+08:00

Went to see the doctor today and got some medication, hopefully I'll be back to full health again soon. Fortunately it's not as bad as during last year's mid terms....

Met up with Pastor Vic today at Velocity, that place sure is confusing, there's Square2 next to it and I was supposed to meet him at Ah Ma Cafe but didn't know where it was in. Talked for quite a few hours about stuff (that I won't share here), was good to meet up and talk again...

Back to hall at night for volleyball! No more trainings we just play for fun now, but fortunately for most part there was 12 of us so we could have a proper 6v6. After the game Matthew Wan popped by my room asking me to teach him to play some songs and we played Lifehouse's Everything. He picked it up really fast especially considering he doesn't know how to play chords he just sees how I play it den try. Plus he know's how to play Hillsong's Deeply in Love. Amazing song got to learn it some time....

Talked to Eunice over msn and heard a little from her about NIE, can't wait to get in man arrrghhhh. She's still sick hope she recovers soon! How can a teacher not have voice hahaha

"Maybe you should give yourself a timeline"
Thought about it before in the past, but it felt like it'll be more of a death sentence hanging on me than anything else...

2009-02-22T23:49:00.004+08:00

Notes for chapter five of MLE done up today, all notes for mid terms are settled, just need to catch up on MA1506 and do past year papers for the mid terms. Been a rather quiet day today otherwise, over dinner learnt about pension and CPF. My goodness pension is SO IMBA lah... Mum and Dad's medical covered by the government, and my dad can either get 2/3 of his last monthly pay every month from retirement till death or take 1/2 last monthly pay and a lump sum and 12 years later get full last monthly pay. Seriously IMBA-NESS man... My sister has a friend looking for a place and might get a flat in the same block as us; I volunteered to help out with the renovation hahaha Probably got to see the doc tomorrow, losing my voice and coughing up phlegm all day long uuugghhh

3 months, 3 months...

Memories...

2009-02-21T00:07:00.005+08:00

Met up with Su-Fern for lunch today. I had previously thought that she was already back in Australia =X. Caught up over lunch at glasshouse Fish and Co (Strangely enough they have a section of tables that can't be used cause of something to do with the air con being there). Good to hear that things have been generally going well for her, and her results last semester sound pretty wow haha. We went to take a look at phones and dropped by Trumpet Praise but sadly they didn't have the book she was looking for. Then we saw a really disgusting sight! There's this fish shop at the basement of Plaza Singapura and in one of the display tanks there was a dead fish. AND THE REST OF THE FISH WERE NIBBLING AND BITING AWAY AT IT(the white one is the dead one)! Could even see scales falling off. Super turn off man can't imagine if someone went there thinking of buying fish and saw that hahaha. Went to Wisma's Sony shop to get a replacement cover for my phone. I played with the back cover of my phone so much it became loose, and just the other day I took the phone out my bag while in the bus and the cover dropped off and flew to dunnoewhereonthefloorinthebus. Asked the person behind me if she saw any cover on the floor but sadly nothing. But all's good now, no more rubber band hahahaha! She picked up her new spectacles at Optic Point, transitions lens! But it was rather cloudy so couldn't see it change haha, it'll probably serve her really well back in Perth though. Passed her a gift before she left, glad she liked it though I only realised halfway through making it that it's smaller than the normal photo frame, so whatever photo gets put it there will have to be printed separately =S

School of Supernatural Living again today at church. Must have been an amazing night for many people. Arie responded to prayer for pain in the back of his knee, next thing you know he was screaming that it was gone! Seems like a lot has been happening in his life since I first met him at iCamp, transformation yeah? =)

Some last minute notice that there's DP rehearsal on saturday, gonna have to miss cell. Next week MLE mid term test at a retarded timing of 1615-1745. Have to miss cell AGAIN. Plus with IHG the last few weeks I was either not there or managed to reach in time but Jamie has been preparing everything for the kids. Feel really bad about it. Plus everything so late notice I also have to last minute tell her I can't be around. ARrrghhhhh so paiseh lah.....

Stand Behind The Yellow Line

2009-02-20T00:12:00.003+08:00

Eusoff is the overall champion for IHG 08/09 and Men's Champion once again!
But a lot of the seniors are graduating, defending the titles next year is gonna be a tough job haha.
Finishing the Eg1413 critique was a lot harder than I had expected, I agreed with the writers on most points so there wasn't much to argue about, sad.
Finished EG1108 notes up to Thevenin and Norton's Theorem, so notes for eg mid term are covered and left 1 more chapter for MLE 1101. Lagging behind in maths by like 2 big chapters and 2 tutorials though. But at least the mid term is only on chapter one...

Throw away the symbols and let lines, be lines...

2009-02-18T00:29:00.002+08:00

Tuesday. Fixed my spectacles and made a spare pair just in case; got my hair cut(at the place Keith mentioned) and all of it done in NUS! Just that the optical shop is terribly expensive. What student price, it costs like double what I normally pay -_- should have just gone back to the shop at Outram. Spent most of the day doing up MLE notes and had a PC lecture. The new lecturer is terrible. He doesn't teach the topics just rattles on problem after problem with less explanations than a MA lecture. Left halfway since I was better off studying the textbook.

Printed all the documents I have to send to NTU for the admission application and completed the online application for NIE (apparently firefox was causing the problem, did it in IE and it was settled) and booked a slot for the physical proficiency test. After some thought I decided to drop PC1432 this sem. I'm sure of what I want to do and where I want to be. Dropping PC1432 would lighter my workload and allow me to catch up on my other modules. It's the only non-compulsory of the 5. Just gonna concentrate on the 4 modules and just quietly finish off this semester well and move on...

Back to training once again. Ran to KAP Mac and back + static. Coming to think of it I didn't stretch after that, better do some before I sleep, don't wanna be aching tomorrow!

Michael's Farewell

2009-02-16T23:01:00.004+08:00

Michael left for Australia today. Decided to leave the MLE lecture early today to go send him off. He had like 3 bags 2 cartons and a guitar with him, and in the end he had to remove some stuff cause of the weight limit. He brought the cap with him too, glad he liked it =) 3 years... Sounds really long man... It's like 1.5 times of NS, but at least he'll be dropping by during the holidays...

Take care bro, praying you find good friends and a church to settle in, all the best for your studies...

2009-02-15T23:13:00.003+08:00

Bad day... Only covered one chapter of MLE notes and a few questions of last week's maths tutorial. In the morning covered a few slides, went to sleep, get up cover a few more, rinse and repeat. Wonder why I'm so tired. Tons to catch up on during the coming week. Hopefully I can cover most things before the mid term break so I can do past year papers/go for consultation. At the moment I'm not even sure what I'm supposed to know, let alone what I don't know.

When I was leaving for hall at night my mum was asking what's wrong with me. Barely home and even when I am I don't talk they have to ask me everything and I just give short answers. Wonder if she realises I've been like that for as long as I can remember, and I'm like that in school and church too anyway. Seriously lost at how to respond.

Eusoffians don't die hard, they don't die.

2009-02-14T23:52:00.003+08:00

Today's volleyball finals was just amazing, and in more ways than one. Must admit I was very surprised by the number of supporters who came considering that it was a saturday morning and moreover it being Valentine's Day (or is Eusoff a lonely Hall? =P). The team really gave everything for the gold and it was well earned...

17-20 Eusoff is down by 3 and Chris calls the timeout.
Rallies, spikes, blocks...
20-20 and Eusoff evens the score, KR calls for a timeout.
Both teams go back in fired for the win and the exchange begins...
23-20 Chris calls another time out; we need to get 5 good points before they make 2!
Pressure equally high on both sides with us needing to turn the tide and KR afraid of losing it so close...
23-23 Eusoff evens the score again and KR calls the time out.
Teams step back in to close the first set of the match...
25-23 What a comeback by Eusoff! We ran onto the court as if it was the third set we won; yes, it was THAT intense.

The second set went somewhat like the first, both teams being really close and KR holding the lead for most part before we caught up near the end and pushed over to win the set. Watching them fight for every ball; close the gap point by point and take the lead was just amazing. We don't go down easy, if we go down at all! The third set had a rather sloppy start and we gave them a 6 or 7 point lead early in the game that proved fatal. That said, we finished the set trailing by only about 3 or 4 points, showing once again the team never gives up no matter how bad things may look. The fourth and final set was smoother with us taking the lead early and though they caught up mid-set, we pulled ahead again and finished it to bring home yet another gold for Eusoff.

Service today was pretty different with Pastor Jenn dropping the sermon and going into a time of ministry instead. After worship I left to grab a drink and some sweets and sat outside the main sanctuary for awhile. I just felt so exhausted, and I didn't even play during the volleyball game (which probably out my voice more than anything else). Maybe it's not all physical. During the time of ministry there were 101 things on my mind, all the things that have been going haywire and also my toe which I injured during the RH friendly which STILL hasn't recovered yet. Haven't been able to curl that toe for close to a month. Hope it's got nothing to do with the bone, probably have to go see a doctor soon. After dinner we went to Wee Kok's place for dinner and Wii or more like Guitar Hero, which was kinda hilarious since it was the first time for most of us. A couple of people from Bob's cell joined us as well, and we had something like 8 pizzas. As usual Wee Kok's mum got down to baking for us as well, it's really impossible to leave his house hungry, well at least if his mum is around haha.

IHG is over for me, sadly it's back to the world of lectures, tutorials and labs once again. EG1413 presentation on Monday gotta get the slides up...

The one-off's and the unforeseens,
Week by week; that's how months go by...

2009-02-13T02:16:00.003+08:00

It's 215 am. DP Sets finished tonight around 130. A bath then supper from Fong Sheng. Exhausted and hungry... With IHG and sets lately I can't remember the last night I slept properly.

Going back to wednesday, the team (volleyball) played a superb game against Sheares in the semi's; fighting till the end to take the first set 26-24 and proceeding to take the next two sets with clear wins. Everyone performed really well, first balls, blocking, spiking and covering for each other. Everyone's spirit and fire was amazing too; especially in the first set where we trailed for most of it and only pulled ahead near the end. Finals this saturday!

The stars they glow at night; the stars, and so much more...

We did it!

2009-02-10T23:56:00.003+08:00

We brought it home, and we brought it home strong. Taking the lead from the first quarter we kept it all the way till the end of the game. Though they came within 3 points of us in the last quarter after a string of impossible 3's by their point guard (something like 3 in a row taken at least 5 steps away from the 3pt line with a defender in his face; no, I'm not exaggerating). But we proved to be the fiercer team putting up really hard D and claiming majority of the rebounds. The intensity of cheering by both players and the crowd was just insane. Every time Jia Kai said one line (or sometimes not even a completed one lol) everyone just screamed YESSSS YEAHHHH etc... Sheares must have really been daunted by the screaming and fighting spirit we put up. Once the last whistle was blown everyone flooded the court to celebrate and once all the formalities of shaking hands etc was over, we started singing Happy Birthday to Jia Kai. Just when you think it's a super big day for him with his birthday + leading the team to IHG champions, he gets pounced on by the team and gets literally debriefed. Can't remember who exactly did the ripping, Terrence and some others maybe? But they did it really fast and without his pants coming down even (hmmm seems they're very experienced at it huh...)

Playing bball in Eusoff is probably the best thing that has happened to me in NUS. But now that IHG has come to end it's time to quietly catch up with my studies finish this sem and pray my application to NIE goes through... I'll definitely miss this place and this team though...

I BELIEVE WE CAN OUTREBOUND THEM YYYEESSSS
I BELIEVE WE CAN OUTRUN THEM YYYYEAAAHHH
I BELIEVE WE CAN WIN YEAHHHHH
DO YOU WANT TO WIN YYESSSS
EUSOFFFFFFFF

Your best, My best, Our best. For the team, for the win. Let's bring it home.

2009-02-10T02:39:00.008+08:00

Our last training before finals tomorrow and the end of IHG basketball. After the lights went out at 11 it was wash-up before heading to the blue oyster for supper while we watched "Remembering the Titans". Just before going to sleep we watched Jun Han's favourite speech.

On this team, we fight for that inch. On this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch, we claw with our fingernails for that inch, because we know that when we add up all those inches, IT WILL BE THE ^&*#IN' DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WINNING AND LOOSING... BETWEEN LIVING AND DYING.

For every ball, for every rebound, hustling even if the wounds break open and you bleed again...

Your best, my best, our best. For the team, for the win. Let's bring it home.

You gotta look at the guy next to you. Look into his eyes. Now I think your gonna see a guy who will go that inch for you, you're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it, you're gonna do the same for him. That's a team gentlemen.

Semi's and Liane's 21st

2009-02-08T00:08:00.011+08:00

Eusoff up 36-33. 1 minute on the clock and we missed the shot, KR got the rebound and pushed down. After a few swings a player takes the 3 and nails it.
36-36.
We quickly push on to offence and Jason gets fouled with 6 secs left, 2 free throws!
Time out.
Jason takes his first shot.
Hits the back of the ring and flies out!
He takes the second and makes it, the crowd just goes wild.
37-36.
KR starts and manages to bring the ball down and force a shot before the 6 secs were up but it went wide. Everyone runs on to the court and celebrates!

Everyone really stepped up today and performed really well even though we started off really badly and gave them the lead for about 2 quarters. Finals on 10 feb! Let's bring it home to Eusoff!

Liane's 21st celebration today and the place sure was crowded... Closure of making her birthday gift. Nope, it isn't wood this time; been playing around with other materials lately and it'll probably be sometime before I go back to wood again. Though I do miss the sound of shaking a spray can and just the novelty of using spray paint haha! What I did for Mother's Day last year was by far the best gift I ever did till now. But this tops it and it'll probably be quite a long time before I can come up with something better. It was pretty amazing how the idea of just a necklace at first slowly led to what it finished as. Not to mention the "constructive complications" along the way and how the materials were found haha. No one-stop-shop at Bras Basah this time. Hope she likes it and that she enjoyed her party =)

7th Feb, make it or break it.

2009-02-07T02:25:00.004+08:00

I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The 3's.
I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The cuts.
I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The rebounds.
I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The block outs.
I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The aggressive defence that cracks them.
I want it.
I want it.
I want it.
The hustle for every ball, no wounds gonna stop me.

I want it.I want it.I want it.
The win. I love this game.

2009-02-06T00:16:00.002+08:00

Today's been a much quieter day than the rest. EG1413 is a godsend amongst all these core modules. I hope the next lecturer for PC1432 is good too, I like Jesse Goldman's teaching. MLE1101 is getting more ? with every lecture and when the lecturer tried to say "all migrate." today everyone heard "OH MY GRAIN!" because he was talking about grain boundaries and the like haha. Saw Desmond walking up A block in the evening. Went up to the lounge to say hi since Jerryl and the rest decided to have dinner at a later time but when I reached the third floor they all looked so serious ( they were having a project meeting) so I decided not to disturb them haha. DP photo taking at night before going back to MA tutorial. It's so much worse this semester.

Went for my first run in some time, with all the IHG games and training lately haven't been running at all. It was a long run down a familiar route... NUS -> huge red SP sign -> opposite Maju Camp -> opposite SIM -> opposite Ngee Ann Poly -> KAP Mac -> Hwa Chong -> overhead bridge -> NJC -> past Michael's area -> opposite KAP Mac -> opposite Ngee Ann Poly -> opposite SIM -> opposite Maju Camp -> huge red SP sig -> NUS. Tiring. Significantly slower on the return route. But I'm glad I pushed to finish it. 1h 40mins. finished around midnight. Happy Birthday.

2009-02-05T02:42:00.002+08:00

Oh my goodness it's going to be 3am how did time fly so fast... MA1506 is blazing ahead of me this is just bad... I'll try my best even though it probably won't matter in the end. NTU is now offering a degree in Sports Science and Management, the first and only in Singapore. I'll probably apply for that as well when applying for NIE. Now I'm not sure if I should put BSc(Ed) (Physical Education & Sports Science) (Secondary) as my first choice or if I should go for the degree in Sport Science and later do a post-grad diploma in Education. The latter would make me more qualified and give me more options in future, but with a pioneer batch of just 40 it's going to be super competitive. Plus the NIE course will definitely be a lot more fun with all the sports modules! Not to mention my tuition fees paid for and I'll get paid while studying.

Went down to town in the afternoon to do some "shopping" haha. Been thinking of getting a pair of track pants for some time and decided to get it today! Dropped by Taka's 4th floor of art and crafts to get some stuff to literally (and more) wrap something up.

I need to be more careful. While adding some finishing touches to a gift today I accidently cut myself again. But fortunately this time it was just by a little piece of plastic and it was just a little prick, not a mildly disfigured finger like last year. That image of the incident would probably stick with me all my life, but I guess it's a good reminder to not be careless and to be more alert to what I'm doing...

Left toe, right toe, there goes the tempo...

2009-02-04T01:36:00.002+08:00

Slept earlier yesterday and took a nap in the afternoon to freshen myself up for the match, mentally preparing since the night before, all focused and ready to go. Then last minute told to sit out this match, rest for semi's and let the other forwards have a chance to play. End score was around 58-29. KE7 weren't really good but while other players and teams are picking up their momentum as the games go along mine is broken with a 1.5 week break between Sheares and semi's. Sure, there's training in between but it's not the same. Playing today would have made all the difference; now I'm just praying on saturday I won't be out of touch/have a cold start.

2009-02-02T23:49:00.002+08:00

It'd been another crazily fast weekend gone. This week it'll be worse; friday volleyball, saturday morning basketball semi's, rush to cell after that and then Liane's 21st celebration. Sunday having lunch at my uncle's place. Already week 4 still have a lot to catch up on sigh. The wound on my knee tore again today, but at least this time it tore off cleanly so I don't have half a scab there. Basketball match against KE7 tomorrow, win and we're into semi's. Time to play our hearts out again!

Heads up Eusoff

2009-01-29T00:13:00.010+08:00

We lost against Sheares today by a couple of points. We were leading 32-29 in the last 30 secs of the last quarter and we held a good defence for over 20secs but left one guy open for a 3 in the last few seconds and he made it. Went into overtime and we lost the game. Overall performance we were pretty okay everyone was definitely fighting and putting in a lot of effort. But careless mistake here and there cost us the game. Compared to all the friendlies we had so far I played a lot more today. Went in the during second quarter and played deep into the third and came back for the last few minutes of OT. Did well defensively today but no points. The Sheares players and supporters must have been cursing and calling for fouls each time I challenge their player for the ball. Oh well, that's basketball and this is a university not secondary school anymore. Grazed my elbow and my wound from the RH friendly burst open again during one of the hustles. A pretty ugly sight, hope it dries up and heals soon.

Down down down...

2009-01-28T00:04:00.003+08:00

Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse. Intended to leave home around 9am to get back to hall and set up my desktop and print all my notes. In the end I left home around 6+pm. Hours after hours of having a flicking screen, the com chain crash, reformatting installing etc... Had to bring back so much stuff my sister followed my back to hall to help. After setting up the desktop here it still was kinda screwed, she messed with it a little then it totally died out. A little later she got it working again and it's much better now by every now and then the screen goes crazy and sometimes it crashes. By the time everything was done had only about an hour left to try some of the mastering physics questions. A short training and team talk from 930 - 11, one of the few things that went right today. Tomorrow will be our first match against Sheares and we need to perform and win by as much as possible.

Ever since September last year things have just been continuously going wrong. The com even has to chain crash 4 times while I was typing this sigh. I never asked for much or for the world, but it seems even the little things I want just fall apart before me. I wonder when things will pick up for real and not give me just another slap in the face... Maybe all of this is really a mistake and I should have gone straight into NIE after army... I miss life before NUS, I miss my army days, I miss the times in PJ with the bballers and the 04S21 gang, I miss the days back in Gan Eng Seng and the endless bballin'...

Gong Xi Fa Cai!

2009-01-26T22:53:00.003+08:00

Chinese New Year has arrived once again! As usual it was lunch at my Dad's side followed by dinner at my mum's side. At my paternal grandma's place it was pretty hilarious at the end cause my mum mentioned my grandma pulled her into a room and then my mum pulled my dad along. Turns out my grandma asked my mum whether my sister has a boyfriend yet and how a lot of young ladies these days are not getting married especially those who are already working and doing well. Reached my maternal grandma's side in the late afternoon and we were the first to arrive. Did one of the EG1413 critiques while waiting. Despite yesterday being a rather sad day, had some other idea suddenly and I continued to develop and work on it while at my maternal grandma's place. It's quite shocking for even myself to see how it's evolved with different ideas since the beginning, but I'll have to bring it to closure soon and I'm very thankful for the way it's been turning out so far. A number of relatives weren't around this year though, the place seemed rather empty compared to the last few years. Carlsberg seems very rich haha on some show on the television celebrities were going around looking for people drinking Carlsberg and picking some to take part in some mini-games and giving them cash, and some of them got like over a thousand lol. That wraps up all the visiting and tomorrow it's time to shift my desktop to hall, print and organise all my stuff and get some studying and tutorials done before school starts again on Wednesday! Not to forget that there's IHG basketball against Sheares on Wednesday night too!

Sigh....

2009-01-25T16:21:00.004+08:00

Dropped by pastor Vic's place in the morning to pass him the gift from the Secondary One cluster. Went a little too early and it seemed like they weren't up yet, so I went to the coffeeshop to grab a drink while waiting. Michelle sms-ed me just as I finished my drink and I headed back over. It was quite hilarious as Pastor Vic was still kinda half-awake and when I wished him happy birthday he accidentally greeted me the same lol.

I intended to head back to hall to settle some stuff before coming home for reunion dinner but things went terribly wrong... After getting off the bus I headed to the traffic light to cross the road when I suddenly realised that my laptop wasn't with me. Rushed back to the bus stop to check if there was any hotline I could call but the lines were closed. Waited for a cab to go down to Jurong East interchange to make a report at the office there but there were like no cabs. Had to call for one in the end. Reached the interchange and made a report, they searched the buses but found nothing. Left my details with them and went to a coffeeshop nearby to just hang around for awhile hoping to get some good news. Time passed and nothing happened, so I headed towards home and dropped by the Cantonment Police Complex to make a police report before heading home. At least it's early in the semester and I didn't lose many documents, plus my photos are up onto snapfish so I didn't lose them. BUT THE MINUTES I TOOK DOWN FOR TREASURE HUNT CAMP COMM DEBRIEF IS GONE arghhh. Downloaded all my stuff from IVLE to my desktop PC. Going to have to bring it back to hall on Tuesday and print all my notes and tutorials now that I can't move around with a laptop. Oh well......

Friendly vs RH

2009-01-24T00:47:00.003+08:00

The friendly today(friday) went pretty badly... Final score was 36-37 Jason said we won but we're not sure, and seriously the way we played it doesn't matter either. We have the advantage of having many experienced players, we just need to perform and go all out for just that 4 quarters. Sloppy passes, slow help on defence, rushed offence, we can definitely do a lot better. But today is just a friendly, now we move towards IHG. Break till the 27th night when we'll be preparing for the 28th match. For now, its time to recover from this week of training... My wrist has been aching for the last 2 or so days for no apparent reason, shoulder aching from game, my toe was busted and now its a little swollen and grazed my knees as usual. Just more bloody this time. I think it'll be a miracle if I ever make it out of a match without any grazes.

I NEED TO FIRE UP

2009-01-21T23:01:00.004+08:00

Flared up quite a bit during training today, but the good thing is I play a lot better offensively once enraged haha. I play a lot more aggressively without being reckless. But I should be doing that ALL THE TIME.

I NEED TO TAKE MORE SHOTS. Even if I'm not so used to SRC I can't let it steal my confidence.
I NEED TO DRIVE MORE. Why wait till enraged?
I NEED TO CRASH THE BOARD. What's the use of being able to grab the ring but not get the rebounds?
I NEED TO BE MORE AGGRESSIVE ON THE OFFENCE. I may cause a few turnovers being aggressive on defence, but you can't win without points.
I WANT TO WIN IHG. With ALL I've got.

2009-01-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

PC1432 lecture was a nightmare today, all of a sudden surface integrals and integration over a closed surface etc starting popping out of nowhere! Really need to find time to sit down and catch up on PC1432. Training again today, have a feeling I'll KO in math lecture tomorrow again sigh...

2009-01-19T23:57:00.002+08:00

Tiringgggg day. lessons from 8-6 today with a one hour break and a two hour break. After that it was volleyball from 7-9 and basketball from 9-11. Kinda just switched off during the early part of basketball and wasn't concentrating, totally off for the defence drills. If I don't get to represent for the other sports it's fine, but I really want to bring home the champion title for basketball. It's been years since I've played in a proper competition. The sound of people players and coaches shouting, shoes squeaking against the indoor flooring, shrill cry of the referees' whistles cutting through; yeah those were the days...

Training this week has really intensified, monday volleyball and basketball, tuesday basketball, wednesday basketball, thursday volleyball. Supposed to have training and friendly on friday as well but it'll be cell as usual.

I'm thinking either I need to buy a few more shirts, or I need to do my laundry more often cause my wardrobe seems rather empty lately! Or maybe I should just do both haha.

2009-01-18T16:51:00.002+08:00

The urban room was finally completed on friday (But I have no good pictures -_-)!!! It looks soooo good and I must say Alina's idea of having a spotlight in the corner of the room made an incredible difference. The ambience when you switch off the main lights and leave just the spotlight on is just wow.

Caught Red Cliff 2 with Eunice and Zhongkai after the Math lecture on Saturday. Really good show man could easily watch it again haha. The part where Cao Cao gives his "motivational speech" to his soldiers to get their fighting spirit up after being hit by typhoid reminded me of something I read about Hitler some time back. For all the atrocities we blame the brains behind the operations and the hideous mastermind, we have to realise at the end of the day that it was carried out and completed by the hands of everyday men and women like you and me. Many a times carried out fervently too. The way the soldiers get back up and their feet and started chanting as an army, scary. Wonder if they even knew what they were fighting for. Completely opposite from the Sun Quan and Liu Bei's army. Even Xiao Qiao could say that she came for the people of the land and not just for her husband. SmashT Cao Cao, SmashT. The final battle once again shows that infantry are nothing but cannon fodder haha, scores of soldiers getting raped by bows and catapults. Gan Xing would be my hero of the battle for suicide bombing down one of the gates so the rest could push through. Overall it's needless to say Zhu Ge Liang is the smartest of them all, not to mention the quirkest (Master tactician who plays music, studies the weather, farms, helps cows give birth??) haha. Speaking of Zhu Ge Liang everytime he appeared the row of China girls behind us kept going "hao shuai ah hao shuai ah" then one of them would say "shuai dan shi bu shi xi huan ni", hilarious.

Pastor Jenn preached at service and on the effects of transformation. Speaking from Acts 9 she shared regarding Saul's (later known as Paul) transformation, how he received a new task, made new enemies, had new friends and bore new fruit. New enemies and friends I guess can be a very real thing for many people, when old friends don't agree with the choices we make, when we become torn between faith and friends. Which of course reminds us of the need for good company; Hebrews 12:24-24 "And let us consider how to stir one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near." A time to think of what the people we're close to are like and how we're like to the people around us; are we leading them in the right way (and vice versa)?

That was saturday, and today (sunday) was a mad rush in the morning because I forgot to return the urban room keys on friday, and also forgot to bring it to church on saturday -_-. To make things worse the keys were in hall and I went back home on saturday night. So I had to rush down to hall to grab the keys then rush down to church since the prayer ministry was using it in the morning. Managed to reach near 830 and pass the keys to Yi Sin. Went down to the National library to study after that. The study room was full so early in the morning! Went to the central borrowing area in B1 instead. it was a pretty nice place to study except that I could not get the wireless internet working (some security certificate problem) and after leaving for lunch I lost my seat. Borrowed some books that looked pretty interesting, hopefully I'll have the time to read them with tutorials and IHG trainings intensifying. Off to the treasure hunt committee debrief and dinner, I asked for it to be on a weekend cause all my weekday nights during the holidays were either training/DP sets, but now sets continues tonight and basketball training as well, smashT.

2009-01-16T09:07:00.003+08:00

Totally exhausted by the end of yesterday. Started the morning in church painting the urban room till lunch. We finished 3 walls and part of the top before our lunch break. The rest continued after lunch but I headed back to hall to get some rest before my lectures. At night it was back to IHG training. 2 hour slots seem really fast now, the lights of the MPC went out just so fast. After basketball I had to complete my road relay run again, 3x of the actual route. Works out to be ~6km maybe? It was just sooooo tiring especially with all the slopes. Completed the run around midnight. This is like a mini preview of sundown haha, gonna be a tiring and cold run! Heading to the urban room again later today to clean the floor for the last time before we sent the furniture into it's new arrangement. But now it's time to finish watching Red Cliff so that I can follow Red Cliff 2 tomorrow!

2009-01-14T23:41:00.004+08:00

Apparently the gym yesterday afternoon and volleyball training at night took more out of me than I had expected, slept through the first half of MA lecture this morning, sigh. I guess I will really have to spent the weekend mugging to catch up with all of this week's lecture especially since most of my time will be going into the urban room revamp. I'm still thinking of catching Red Cliff 2 though, pretty sure if I don't do it this weekend I won't at all with the tutorials, labs and IHG all coming up.

The URBAN REVIVALISTS ARE HERE!!!! Bringing new life to the urban room! We started after lunch moving all the furniture out into the corridor before proceeding to clean all of it and the entire interior of the room. Greeted by many dead cockroaches, their "spare parts" as Titus called them and also a lizard flattened behind the whiteboard (We were guessing it's the one we saw run behind the board during the last treasure hunt meeting). The room is seriously SO DIRTY lah, the pails of water looked more like some oil spill scene hahaha. After Alina finished class a few of us went down to Holland V to get the paint. The price per litre was a lot cheaper than what we budgeted for, but the amount we needed was much more than we had budgeted for. But we managed to get the colours we wanted and the guy at the shop was really nice and helped us with advise of amounts of paint needed, telling us to use whitewash for the concrete and an oil-based primer for the shutters before we started the actual painting. Helped us work to the lowest cost possible as well ($30 for 5 litres). Watching him prepare the paint was cool too, he placed an empty can and keyed in some stuff into a machine and it vomitted the right colour out into the can.
Painting the room was the long, messy and fun part! Everyone ended up having paint splattered all over themselves because of the rollers. I highly overestimated the amount of area one can of spray paint could cover, after the can was running low I just sprayed some of our names on the shutter tops instead. Most had to leave pretty early and soon it was down to Melodi, Alina, Kevin and myself. After Melodi left we continued to finish up till all the walls, ceilings and shutters had been painted with the whitewash/primer. After all the painting was done we scrubbed the paint stains off the floor and moved all the furniture back in. When we finished we realised it was already past 10! Time really flew man. Fortunately Kevin and Alina gave me a lift back to hall or I would be back a lot later. Fong Seng for dinner AGAIN. I'm started to get scared of that place lol. Brought the cushion covers back to hall for washing, hopefully they aren't bald after I take them out of the washing machine later hahaha! We're going to start painting the actuals colours tomorrow, can't wait to see it done!

Goals and reflections...

2009-01-13T19:14:00.011+08:00

With just 2 hours of PC1432 lecture in the afternoon I had a lot of time to settle other stuff. Got down to filling up the goal setting sheet Alina prepared for us last cell. Thought about how I've been changing mostly since my JC days, personality, strengths and weaknesses etc... I guess a good place to start thinking of where to move towards is to look at where you've come from and where you're at...

Some abstractions from personality profiling:

"It is not easy for the INTJ to express their internal images, insights, and abstractions. The internal form of the INTJ's thoughts and concepts is highly individualized, and is not readily translatable into a form that others will understand. However, the INTJ is driven to translate their ideas into a plan or system that is usually readily explainable, rather than to do a direct translation of their thoughts. They usually don't see the value of a direct translation, and will also have difficulty expressing their ideas, which are non-linear."
Yup, excuse me if I have trouble explaining what I'm thinking at times; sometimes it really is quite a task for me to try and explain whats in my mind...

"...observer, values solitude, perfectionist, detached, private... does not talk about feelings, hard to impress, analytical, likes esoteric things..."
My tendency to appear aloof and apart from others as well as some degree of self-confidence generally causes people to think I'm some arrogant guy but I really ain't. Perfectionist; a great blessing and a great curse. Makes for high standards, but also makes it hard for one to settle for even just a little less. Went down to Art Friend again today( considering the number of times I've been there in the last few months I'm pretty sure all the counter staff recognise me by now) to get something that would provide a gloss finish since the lacquer I had lying around since '07 was more of a matte finishing that wasn't what I wanted. Granted the dimensions of what I was using it for was rather small and probably nobody would actually notice the difference, but to me it was a "vital minor detail" much as it sounds oxymoronic. Does not talk about feelings; probably my greatest of pitfalls. I've always felt communication is terribly important, but it seems I'm equally terrible at it. Kills especially when it comes to relationships. At home little is ever said and with friends it's often so too. Even she once said "bearing all your stoic silence and reserved nature". Regrettably so.

"INTJs live much of their lives inside their own heads. They constantly scan their environment for new ideas and theories which they can turn into plans and structures. Sometimes, what they see and understand intuitively within themselves is more pure and "perfect" than the reality of a close personal relationship. INTJs may have a problem reconciling their reality with their fantasy."
Being an observer, analytical, idealist/perfectionist, I guess such a conclusion is hard to escape from...

"INTJs are not naturally in tune with their own feelings, or with what other people are feeling."
Pretty sure I'm in tune with mine, but I know I definitely can be rather obvious and insensitive to others at times and I really don't mean to. On my last BOS duty when my RSM spent some time talking to me about my time in 6SIR, how I had been doing and about my plans post ORD even he told me to be careful cause there were times I seem harsh on people, cut them down or am insensitive even though I don't realise it and may not mean it. Sometimes I'm more sensitive and pick up stuff people don't, but I guess it's really a concious effort and something I have to keep working at.

"Don't Get Isolated"
I guess that can be a great pitfall for me as well. Being independent really isn't a great thing; all too easy to just end up doing everything on my own.

First Day of School!

2009-01-12T23:02:00.002+08:00

Monday bluessss anyone? 3 lectures (5hrs worth) and an additional 2h of seminar once Eg1413 starts next week woooo. Daryl, Sean and Ivan all siam-ing PC1432 this semester because they don't want to take so many engine-ish modules in 1 semester in case they die. I was thinking the same too, but now I wonder why considering PC1431 was one of my best modules last sem -_- Lab intensive semester though, EG1108, PC1432 and MA1506. Seriously, lab for MATH???

The plans for the urban room have been approved, but we still have to settle the stores and time that most people can make it down for the cleaning and painting. We're planning to start work on wednesday, may everything go well, school proper next week and it'll be a bad time to still be working on the urban room!

Please don't let me fall sick now...

2009-01-11T13:43:00.003+08:00

First cell proper yesterday, and we were just one person short of full strength! Seems the twins are coming regularly now, think the camp really made an impact on them. On a whole they were pretty attentive. Unfortunately in service they were more disruptive and disturbed the people around us, but I believe over the weeks it'll get better! Now we sit together as a cell for service, though that means no more sitting with the NUS peeps =/.

Woke up with a lil' headache today, and now it's getting worse and I can feel my temperature rising. Feels just like the time I was sick during mid-terms, I don't wanna go through that again, especially not when I'm starting school tml and IHG is just around the corner! Probably won't be able to attend basketball and road relay training today, sigh. Was down at Bras Basah browsing stuff and Liane happened to be at Bugis, but she was already having lunch so I couldn't meet her for lunch. Headed back to hall and wow, what a gigantnormous amount of clothes in the laundry room lol! Going to grab some sleep now, hopefully I'll be better when I'm up!

I don't want school to start, I want to work on the Urban Room!

2009-01-09T23:38:00.003+08:00

Getting back into the pace of road relay training, did the 20min jog 8 upslopes at PGP in the morning before meeting Alina to discuss the revamp of the Urban room. It's so exciting! Wish school wasn't starting next week and we could work on the room instead =/. We spent 3 hours in the urban room measuring the dimensions of practically everything in the room from the the furniture to the walls and discussing how we wanted to rearrange the room, new stuff we wanted to buy and colours we wanted to paint the walls. After the planning was done we had lunch and headed to Ikea to scout for the stuff we needed and to come up with a budget. Alina suddenly had this super cool idea of using the stuff there to simulate the furniture and walls so we could have a rough idea of what it would look like when the colours came together. Hopefully the budget gets approved and we can start next week! Going to need a good full day to move out all the furniture and do a thorough cleaning of the whole place before we starting painting and rearranging the place.

Cell today was pretty long but many important things were covered and it was a great start to the first cell of the year and to the new composition of cellies. Quite a bit of homework as well, but it's good that we're given time to think about it since it does require quite a lot of thought if it is to mean anything. Jamie shared a prayer request for a masseur whom she met for a day during her holiday in China. She shared the gospel in Chinese and took down her address which she used to send her a letter and a chinese bible. An amazing testimony, pray the package gets through to her!